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After my CT, I'm wheeled back into my room and the doctor comes in shortly after. Connor's sitting right next to me, squeezing my good hand tightly.
"Well," He says, flipping through my scans before looking up at me with a smile. "There seems to be absolutely no signs of any damage to your brain or skull by the crash. These are perfectly clean scans."
"Wow, that's amazing," I say excitedly. "Is there a reason I fell into a coma?"
"We think it has to do with the trauma your head endured from the crash. All the swelling that we initially observed went down which is great," He explains. "How are you feeling otherwise? Any headaches? Blurry vision? Dulled senses?"
I shake my head. "No, nothing. It was a bit weird coming back into it after the coma, but I feel fine now aside for the rib and hand pain."
"You seemed to be about the luckiest girl I have ever met. You have really escaped this crash virtually unscathed," He tells me. "I'd like to keep you for observation for the next two days, just in case any symptoms pop up, but if all is well, I don't see why you can't be released after."
He explains a few other things to us and then leaves us be. Connor turns to me and his excitement is undeniably visible. "Babe!" He exclaims, placing a hand on my cheek. "You're going to be okay. Wow, you're going to be okay."
I place my hand on top of his and lean into his touch. "I love you," I say to him, feeling the guilt of the last few weeks pile up quickly. "I know that we fought and that I've been awful to you and kept you confused and alone. And I'm sorry for that, Connor. I'm so so sorry-"
"Jo," He starts, but I don't let him finish. Fuck the coma, I need to apologize.
"No, don't make excuses for my behavior because of this crash. It wasn't right how I treated you. You have been nothing but kind and patient and understanding, and lately, I've been unfair to you, but the truth is that I'm confused, Con," I tell him. "I'm confused about my feelings and what I want to do moving forward."
He's taken aback, even though I've expressed it to him before. It's harder to hear in person, I guess. "Babe, I really don't know what to say anymore. You had to deal with a lot these past few weeks. I completely understand that and I understand it's tough to figure out your feelings because Greyson was such a big part of your life, but what about me? Am I not enough for you?"
"No, you are more than enough. You are everything I have ever wanted which is why I'm confused, okay? He left me with no explanation, broke me into pieces, and now he's back in my life with a book about how much he loves me and how he didn't want to leave me."
"A book?" Connor asks.
And then it hits me. I never told him about the book. Through everything that happened, I never told him about that goddamn book. Fuck.
"He wrote a book about me, about our relationship," I say hesitantly. "And in it, he explained that he didn't want to leave me, that he had to do it to protect me from his abusive father."
