RemRom/RomRem Drabbles/Short Stories

Hoodies

Two in one day? Yeah, I don't get it either.
Angst
Human AU
Break-ups, crying, swearing, mentions of smoking. They're seniors in high school, though the story never says it.

Roman stared at the dim shop across the hall that was any goth, emo, or punk's dream aside from Hot Topic. One of his dads caught his attention as he asked if he had found anything he liked. Roman said he was still looking and smiled at him until he walked away. His gaze drifted down to the red jacket he had been looking at, but his interest for it died just like everything else he had looked at in the mall. Looking over to the shop across the hall again, his eyes widened slightly as he saw him. Before he could think, his legs were taking him out of the shop and following the boy leaving the mall through the back. He walked faster as the boy got outside and shoved the glass door open again, "Remus!"

The punk boy stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. His emerald eyes taking Roman's breath away just like they did the first time he saw them. Now that he was standing there in front of him, Roman realized he didn't know what he was doing or why he'd followed him. Remus nodded his head towards a nearby bench, and Roman followed him to it. They sat a couple feet apart with Remus' duffel bag between them. Remus pulled a cigarette from his bag, digging around for his lighter. Roman finally found some words as he watched him, "I didn't think you worked here on Fridays."

"Quit my other job and covered someone's shift today." Remus shrugged and gave up on the cigarette, stuffing it back in the pack. He met Roman's eyes for a moment, then his eyes drifted down. Roman followed his gaze down to the black hoodie splattered in green paint that he hadn't been able to take off. But now, he found himself reaching to take it off. He slipped it over his head and slowly held it out towards Remus. His heart clenched as the soft fabric left his hand. He wasn't ready to let it go and hadn't planned on giving it back until he got over the break-up. Remus exhaled through his nose like it was funny as he stared at the jacket, "The thing that started it all. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The school forcing us outside into the cold for some stupid photo, and you didn't bring your jacket for whatever reason. So, I untied mine from my waist and gave it to you."

"Maybe I just wanted to see if a gentleman would give me his." Roman laughed quietly though there was little humor in it, "Instead, the school punk turned out to have a soft side."

"And the cheerleader wasn't so bitchy after all." Remus snorted, "We were a teen rom-com, weren't we?"

"Except they always stay together in the movies." Roman mumbled, frowning again. Remus frowned too. They stayed quiet for a few moments, looking back on memories from when they were dating. Remus unzipped his duffel bag and pulled a white hoodie out of it, handing it over to Roman. Roman stared at Mickey Mouse on the front of the jacket, "You kept this on you?"

"My dad wouldn't let me leave the house this morning without a warm jacket. This was the only one I had," Remus shrugged, "It's just like the night you gave it to me. I only had my leather jacket, and you were wearing that one and mine. So, like the first day we somewhat properly met, you gave me yours and said-"

"A lover's hoodie is warmer than your own." Roman finished for Remus with a small smile. Remus nodded and looked down at his hoodie in his lap. The two fell back into silence. Roman didn't even realize as he hugged his hoodie to his chest and breathed in the smell of lemons and smoke. At first, it relaxed him and eased the ache in his chest, but then the tears welled up in his eyes and burned them. The ache in his chest returned and hurt more than before as he realized he'd never get that familiar scent again once it faded from the hoodie. Sure, he could cut lemons, start fires, burn cigarettes, but he'd never get it just right.

"I'll never regret giving you my hoodie that day..." Remus' voice was quiet and a bit strained. Roman looked over at him to see his eyes were watery too. "Even though it hurts so fucking much right now, I could never regret the time I spent with you."

Roman opened his mouth, intending to say he didn't regret it either, but the lump in his throat prevented the words from leaving. Instead, the tears in his eyes began to fall and it took everything he had not to sob. Remus sniffled and wiped his eyes, keeping his head on his hand, "Fuck, I miss you so much, Ro. And I know I was too scared to say it before, but I love you. I really fucking love you. I only wish I had had the balls to say it before I lost you."

Roman's heart squeezed and he struggled to speak around the lump squeezing his throat, "I love you too. I always will."

Roman moved closer to take Remus' hand and Remus looked up at him. He studied his features that he fell in love with every day for seven months. His slightly chapped lips, growing moustache, prominent cheek bones, and black-dyed hair that sometimes fell over his beautiful eyes. Remus seemed to be studying Roman's face too before pressing their foreheads together. "Why did our lives have to pull us apart? Why do we have to be so stubborn?"

"We both deserve to follow our dreams. A white picket fence wasn't in yours, and a life on the road wasn't in mine." Roman smiled, though it was sad and watery instead of happy.

"And why do you have to be right all the time?" Remus laughed through his tears, pulling away to look at Roman again. He moved closer, squishing his bag between them, and cupped Roman's jaw with his hand. "But what if my dream doesn't work out and I just threw away the best thing that ever happened to me?"

"It'll work out." Roman sniffed and nodded, mostly to reassure himself of the same thing. Because their dreams had to work out. If not, the pain was for nothing and the one he loved was gone forever. He squeezed Remus' hand that he was still holding and wiped his eyes with his other hand. "I'm always right, remember?"

Remus tried to smile and pressed their foreheads together again, "I'll never forget it."

"Good." Roman whispered, reaching up to hold Remus' hand that cupped his jaw. Their noses bumped together as they silently cried. Their lips were so close, almost brushing together. Roman almost closed the gap for one last bit of relief before the pain took over again, but Remus pulled away. He pulled his hands away, stuffed his hoodie in his bag, and put the strap over his shoulder.

"I need to get to band practice." Remus mumbled as he stood up, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, "Goodbye, Ro."

Roman clapped a hand over his mouth as a sob escaped him as he watched him walk away. Part of him wanted to chase after him to get the goodbye kiss he craved for and look into his eyes one last time as he said goodbye. But all he could do was hide his face in the hoodie that smelled like Remus and cry. Something hard in the pocket caught his attention and he pulled out an unlit cigarette. He clutched it to his aching, heaving chest and hid his face in the hoodie again. "Goodbye, Remus."

Feb. 11, 2021 22:20