Fate Wheel | Naruto

𝟕𝟏| Fight

A smile made its way to my lips as I lightly brushed my finger against her head, she closed her eyes and enjoyed my notion of comfort before disappearing into a puff of smoke. Ichiro had gifted me a summoning as a mark of remembrance for his teachings and as a gift to remember him by. Little to his surprise the bird I was given was one of the rare breeds that hardly accepted the role, but I guess I was a different case. In some cultures, doves were known to be a spiritual being that symbolised devotion, gentleness, purity and most importantly; love.

Maybe that was why it made me feel so at ease. Similar to wisteria, the doves had a natural, soothing aura and it almost persuaded me to think that I wasn't drowning in undeniable sadness and loneliness. That my chest didn't feel heavy and that I was okay, maybe I didn't feel okay but I had to tell myself that I was.

I just had to. Because I couldn't afford to think otherwise. Jiro wasn't here to comfort me and I couldn't always rely on him to be there when I needed him, I didn't want to dump my emotions on him in fear it'd stress him out even more.

Or maybe you're just letting Sasuke's words get to you.

"I'm bored." I said aloud to the emptiness of the hut.

Though, it didn't look empty with the picture frames hanging on the wall, the little pieces of furniture and plant pots near the window and the pile of books scattered on the table. Boredom was never an issue for me before, training kept me company as well as Jiro, but now that I was open to more options it felt compulsory that I had to do something other than train. Like a mission, or hanging out with Hitomi or the others, or even learning from Hitomi's cook book, or spending time hanging around Sasuke.

I stared at the empty spot where Jiro would usually be and frowned. Loneliness tugged at my heart. I was so used to seeing him everyday from the moment I woke up, to only seeing him once or twice during the day. Would I be selfish if I said that I didn't want him to grow distant from me? That I'd rather him be here with me than have him do something else useful and help around the Village.

But isn't this what you wanted? You wanted him to be free from you, not drag him down any more than you already do.

Forcing my gaze away, I shakily stood up and walked outside.

"I'm leaving, Jiro." I mumbled, closing the door and continued to walked down the path.

I didn't know where I was walking to, but I followed the trail and submerged myself into my thoughts. Maybe I was acting dramatic and felt lonely for no reason, maybe I did allow Sasuke's words to affect me and make me feel as though everyone else thought the same way he did and I was only burdening the people around me— but with Jiro, I knew he could never feel that way.

He was the only one I was able to go to even if worse came to worse and I was right where I began, even if the whole world turned against me I'd always have Jiro to turn to. Keiji once told me that Jiro and I were like kindred spirits. Despite him being a wolf and I human, I was young and curious and drawn to him no matter how much he pushed me away. He stared at me with his red eye and snarled at me with his sharp teeth, but not once did I find him to be menacing or scary. It was hard to find a monster in someone when you've been deemed one yourself, but if Jiro was a monster, then he was the most kindest, loving monster I've ever met.

Would I be ignorant to think that Sasuke didn't mean a word he said and that it was a way of distancing himself?

After all, he'd push others away when he thought he was dragging them down, that he could handle everything on his own. Like me, he wasn't able to handle his emotions, he needed an anchor and I was stuck in the futile fantasy that maybe he could turn to me whenever he felt like the world was against him as well.