𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧

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𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐗 𝐀𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐤

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Aiden.


I've always wanted a baby, whether that'd be to adopt or to have one of my own. And that almost came true for me. But first, there should be a backstory.

Deven and I got married when we were nineteen and have been married for eight and a half years now. Although we were young and did not have a clue what marriage would entail, we eloped.

I knew I loved him and he loved me so there wasn't a problem. We've had our fair share of arguments and disagreements but we are all good.

About two years ago, we wanted to try for a baby. We saw a doctor and got some advice about it and then just got to it.

For weeks, we'd been up countless nights trying and trying until I just got sick and tired of his dick basically and no lines on that pregnancy test.

I went into a deep depression for a bit until I started throwing up and having weird cravings such as curly fries coated in grape jelly with ranch on the side or just plain old potato chips with sauerkraut on top.

It was definitely out of the usual for me since I tended to eat healthier foods all the time. I went to the doctor and found out that our months of trying finally worked out.

Deven and I were having a baby. And that baby would be my little miracle cause who knows how many times I leaned beside my bed praying every night for it to happen.

Then there was that day in the hospital where I thought I'd get to see my beautiful child in my arms for the first time. I thought I'd hear those noisy cries that would bring bags to my under eyes. And then Deven looked at me, kissed my forehead, and shook his head before he broke down on the floor beside my bed.

I sat there in shock for what seemed like hours until I demanded and shouted for the nurses to put my baby in my arms. They did with a solemn face and I broke as well.

I cried my ass off as I cradled my stillborn child before they had to take her away.

That's when I began to distance myself from everything. I had even gotten as bad as blaming Deven for everything. I constantly put it all on him and he left for some time.

We were still together but he left our bed, our house and stayed with his mom until I could get my shit together. He'd taken care of me when all I did was look at him in spite.

I deserved it.

Everything shifted when I put the blame on myself though. When I put my slim body to shame for not being the proper size to hold her when I was perfectly healthy. I drove myself to gain a bunch of weight which made me insecure even further.

I was not myself—I was not comfortable in my own body anymore.

Deven came back around that time.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘: 𝐁𝐗𝐁Where stories live. Discover now