To Have, To Hold, and To Leave: A Bryce Hall FanFiction «completed»

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-Cade's POV, the next day-

"It's the wedding day, you guys! Get up!" I called up the stairs to Emma and CJ. They were always stubborn about waking up, but they were being especially stubborn right now. "You've got five seconds!"
They both stormed down the stairs, and they looked exhausted. "Why did you wake us up so early?" Emma asked, wiping the sleep from her eyes. 
I chuckled. "I told you guys not to wake up so early. I don't know why you guys insist on not listening to me. 

"Maybe because you're yelling at seven o'clock in the morning," CJ added. "Just cool it, Dad."
I shook my head. "You guys should really be nicer to me. I don't understand why you guys are always on my ass. Can you guys please just make sure that you have everything together? You're staying with your mom while Kate and I are on our honeymoon."
"Can you tell us anything else that we don't already know?" Emma replied snarkily, the patter of her feet breaking my stunned silence as she went into the kitchen to grab herself something to eat for breakfast.
"Emma! Just do what you're told, please!" I called after,  heading upstairs to take care of my own shit.

When we were all ready, I packed them into the car. "Weddings wait for no one, you guys. I still have to drop you guys off at your mom's house. She's gonna bring you to the church when it's closer to go time."
"Dad, once again: we know," Emma sighed. "Can you just drive? I really need to finish my hair, and I'm not going to be able to do that until you stop talking and take us to Mom's."
I tried to refrain from yelling or rolling my eyes. She was rebellious, and I knew that she was less than happy about this wedding. For my own sake, I just let it go. 

I pulled up in front of my ex's house, and she was waiting in the doorway for the kids. "Good luck with this marriage!" she called out. On the bright side, I was kind of glad that she was still a bitch. 
"Yeah, thanks!" I called back, turning the other cheek. She could be bitter that I was moving on all that she wanted. I wasn't going to let it affect me.

I pulled into the church parking lot, and I was glad to see that most of the friends that Kate called family were already there. "Nessa, Josh, it's good to see you guys," I greeted them. "What are you guys doing here so early?" 
"What are you doing here so late?" Nessa asked. "Kate asked us to come and help set up, but she's not here yet. How does it happen that the bride and groom both arrive late to their own weddings?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. I'm gonna go change, and then, I'll see if I can get ahold of Kate."

I went inside, and I was met by a woman that I vaguely recognized from a time that Kate and I had gone to a service on a Sunday. "Rhonda, right?" I asked
She nodded. "Absolutely. You're going to be right down the hall on the left, Cade. Kate came by last night and said that she had something that she wanted to leave for you. I'm not quite sure what it was, but it seemed to be pretty important."
I thanked her, going down the hallway. When I walked into the room, I found an envelope resting on a side table with my name scrawled on it in Kate's perfect handwriting. I opened it and began to read.

Dear Cade,

I could only wish that there was a better way to do this. When I met you, the only thought that ran through my head was how lucky I was. It was like Jaden had thrown a little bit of happiness directly in my lap, and I could never know if I was ever going to find someone that made me as happy as you did ever again.
You saved me in a time where I didn't even really know that I needed saving. The way that you accepted me, as well as my children, was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen, and I needed you. I was glad to have you, Cade. 
I have baggage. Bryce was the first love of my life, and when he destroyed me, I never thought that I would be capable of love again. The fact that I fell so in love with you so easily amazed me, but more than anything, it scared me.
I cannot begin to put into words how thankful I am that you came into my life. You changed my perspective, and I owe you the world for that one.

Unfortunately, Cade, this isn't something that I can go through with. I was terrified of being hurt again, and I cannot let that go. I've decided to go with what is safe, and I'm really sorry that I am hurting you in the process of that. You are an amazing man, father, and friend, and I am sure that you will find someone that is worthy of your love. 
This is a horrible way to do this, but I cannot see the hurt on your face. Hurting you is going to break me, and I'm sorry that I feel like I need to. 
This is a real case of 'It's not you, it's me.' I rushed into our relationship, and I wasn't ready. I tried to give you my heart before it was mine to give away. 
You helped me find myself, and I'm grateful for that. Thank you for everything that you've done for me in these last two years. I cannot begin to describe how much that you have impacted me. 

Take care of yourself, Cade. You deserve only the best.

Love, Kate

Leaving me in a letter certainly didn't feel like she truly believed that I deserved only the best.