To Have, To Hold, and To Leave: A Bryce Hall FanFiction «completed»

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"Dinner is served," Bryce said, bringing a plate of macaroni and cheese to me. 
"I forgot that you really can't cook anything," I laughed, taking my arm from around Isaiah and grabbing the plate from Bryce's hands. 
"That's not fair," Bryce chuckled. "Isaiah, your plate is waiting down at the table for you. Can I talk to your mom alone for a second?" 
Isaiah hugged me again. "See you in a little bit, Mom."

"What did you need to talk to me about?" I asked before taking a bite. 
"You didn't really seem to be okay after we talked. I wanted to make sure that it was all okay," he said, sitting down next to my legs and patting them. 
I shook my head. "I'm tired of trying so hard to believe you every time you talk. You say things to me, and I'm supposed to just believe them. You say that Addison came onto you. Why didn't you just tell me the truth to begin with? Why was your phone off? Why did it take you the entire day to tell Addison that you two were over? None of this makes sense to me, but I really, really want it to make sense. For us. For our kids."
"Kate, I just don't know what to say to you."
"Of course you don't! No matter what you say, it's going to be a lie anyway. You want to hear what really, really pisses me off about all of this?" I asked, angry and hurt. 
"What, Kate? What really, really pisses you off?" he screamed back at me. 
"Our son, our ten-year-old baby boy, just came in here and apologized to me. Do you know what he apologized for? He apologized to me on your behalf. He apologized for you not showing up to pick the kids up from school. And I would really, really love to say that we're putting him through this, but it's not me. I didn't do this!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face. 

"That's not fucking fair, Kate. Our marriage has been far from perfect," he replied, way too calmly for my taste. 
I shook my head again. "I think that you need to remember that you disappeared. You disappeared, and you cheated on me with your ex-girlfriend. I am not at fault for that. No matter how bad you think that our marriage was, it's never okay to cheat on someone that you claim to love."
"Do you still want to do this with me, or do you just want to sign the papers? I don't want to do this shit with you anymore, Kate."
"Get out of my room."
He looked confused. "What?" 
"You heard me: get out of my room," I repeated. 

He left, slamming the door shut behind him. His temper had always pissed me off more than anything, and I guess that it should have been expected that that wouldn't have changed. 
I set the plate on the bed next to me, suddenly not hungry anymore. I didn't really know if I wanted to keep this relationship. I still loved him, but I didn't really want to keep looking over my shoulder, wondering if Bryce was going to Addison's every time that he left the house by himself. 

Bryce reopened the bedroom door, herding the kids into the room. "Um, they wanted to watch a movie with Mom."
"Oh, of course," I faked a smile. "Climb in, you guys."
"If you need anything, shoot me a text," Bryce mumbled. "I'm going to head to my room."
I nodded, grabbing the remote as he shut the door. "What do you guys want to watch tonight?"
"Toy Story!" Owen yelled. 
I laughed. "Not again, sweetie. We watched that last night. How about the second one?" 
Owen, Annalisa, and Isaiah all agreed, and I turned it on. 

As they watched the movie, I picked up my phone, thinking about texting Bryce. As I tried to compose a text, I chuckled softly under my breath. What was I doing? We needed to spend some time apart right now. I didn't want to say anything that I might regret. 
"Are you okay?" Annalisa asked, looking up at me.
"Yeah, I'm okay? Why do you ask, sweetie?" 
"Mommy, you're crying," she observed. 
Was I? I reached a hand up to my face, brushing off the tears that were indeed falling. "Oh, look at that. I am crying. I, uh, I'm okay kiddo. Don't worry about me, alright?" 
"Okay, Mommy," she said, wrapping her little arms over my baby bump. I was so grateful that these kids weren't at the stage in their life where they didn't want anything to do with me. I couldn't lose my husband and my kids all at once.

The movie ended, and I sent the kids to their beds. "Good night, my loves. I will see you guys tomorrow. Make sure that you come and see me before you head out to school. Auntie Nessa is taking you guys. She or Uncle Josh will probably pick you up. You'll know more tomorrow, okay?"
They each hugged me tightly, and I found myself never wanting to let go. "I love you," I whispered in each of their ears. 
When it came to Isaiah's turn, he apologized again. "I heard you and Dad fighting. I'm sorry, Mom."
"You're too wise for being just ten, you know that, right?" I chuckled. "I love you, Isaiah, and you never, ever have to worry about me and Dad fighting. Even if we fight, we both still love you and your brother and sister more than anything in this entire world."
"I love you, too, Mom."

He left the room, and I let the tears go freely. Every single little thing that had hurt me in the past five months came out of me as the sobs wracked through my body. Cheating, divorce, unplanned pregnancy, MIA husband, and bed rest raced through my mind. 
My life had been changed when I had moved to LA and met Bryce, and it was all falling apart. I couldn't handle it falling apart.