Jailbird

~Part 2: Chapter 31~

"I need to talk to daddy about some very important things. Can you stay in here and play patiently?" I asked Nate.

"Yes, mommy. I'll talk to you in a little bit, daddy!" He shouted at the camera, before he slid off of my lap and ran for his toy box.

I took the iPad from it's holder and got up from Nathan's little desk in his room. When I left his room, I left it closed with a crack in the door and headed to the living room.

"What are we discussing today, Sienna?" Zedlin asked me, sounding just as sad as he told his son he was.

And this wasn't going to make this conversation any easier on him.

I sat down on the sofa and let out a heavy breath. With the iPad propped on my lap, I ran the words through my head before I spoke them out loud.

"I know your sentence isn't coming to an end for a little while longer, but I wanted to have a discussion about our future when you're released."

Zedlin scratched his head, "Okay. I told you they may release me on house arrest. If that's the case, you'll need to get a landline so I can stay with you guys."

I chewed on my lip nervously, "That's the thing... I don't think it's a good idea for you to come and live with us right away."

"Excuse the fùck outta me. What did you just say?" Zedlin instantly stopped scratching and glared at the camera.

"Hear me out. We've been struggling the last year. I haven't put effort to come and see you and that's because of the stress on our relationship. You don't talk to me nicely, Zedlin and I don't want Nathan to pick up those habits of yours—"

"Sienna, I'm working on it. I would never allow my son to disrespect you."

I rolled my eyes, "But it's okay if you do? We've got to do better. We've got to compromise and I want you to come out with a clear head and weight off your shoulders."

Zedlin shook his head sadly and then pressed his hands to his face, "I just need to be around my family, Sienna. You've already deprived me of that for the last year and a half. You can't be serious."

"I'm sorry, Zedlin but I am. I need you to go and stay with Derek and Garrett, just for a few months after you get out. I promise you that you can have Nathan whenever you want him—"

"I want him all the fùcking time, Sienna. To make up for the lost time you've created."

I laughed, "This is what I'm talking about. Everything turns into an argument, because everything is always my fault. I need more time away from you, Zedlin. There, I said it. You cloud my judgement with your sexiness and your sensual ways and I refuse to be stuck in that endless loop with you again. We have a child who will be watching us — we've got to do better together, Zedlin. We need time apart to work on ourselves before we can come together and expect to work."

Zedlin groaned loudly, "Please tell me you're not seeing someone else."

"I'm not seeing anyone else, Zedlin. I see me with you, but not like this. I want us to start over. You can't get out and think you're going to fùck me back into submission"

"That's not what I was thinking."

He was so full of shít.

"Sure, but I'm not changing my mind. I'm sorry, please don't be angry. I really want you to think about this and talk to Brad about it, too. I love you so much. That's why I have to do this."

Zedlin removed his hands from his face and instant tears sprang to my eyes as I watched them roll from his.

"I'm just... feeling really defeated. I want so much and it feels so close at my fingertips and then suddenly it's all ripped away. I... I understand."

Well, that was a little unexpected.

He swiped at his tears and shook his head sadly, making me lose my grip on my emotions.

I pressed my hands to my face and sobbed heavily, feeling his pain tackle me down. I know I was the cause and I couldn't bear to see him so broken. But I couldn't back down.

This was detrimental to our relationship — to our family.

"Sienna, come on... we're never gonna stop if you keep it up."

"I'm just so sorry and I hurt for you. I know what I've been doing and I can't apologize enough, but I promise it will all be worth it in the end. You've already come so far and I just don't want to go backwards, Zedlin. I love you so much."

He sniffled and scratched at his head, "I fùcking love you, baby. I'm gonna try it your way — anything to make this work. I want to be there with you guys, my heart cracks into smaller pieces the longer I'm away. Sometimes the pain is so intense, I can't see past it."

That's how I felt about our relationship, but he was showing progress and I was hopeful. I would be able to see past our problems, because we were growing and moving forward.

"I guess there's no reason to keep this a secret anymore," Zedlin sighed out heavily.

I froze, "Keep what a secret?"

He smiled sullenly, "All of my classes and good behavior paid off — I get released in two months."

"B-But Nathan's only three and a half! How is this possible?"

"I've been doing everything in my power to make it home to you guys. You don't understand how much I fùcking care about you guys — but maybe now you will. I'll play along with your rules, Sienna. You'll be wishing you never set them, because I'm going to give you that space that you feel you need and I'm not going to touch you without your permission."

My mouth was wide open, a fly could've flew in and stayed a while.

I licked my lips and suddenly my throat felt extremely dry, "I-I... are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I wanted to surprise you, but you got to me first. So instead, I'll just set everything up at my old place, but I'm telling you now that I want my kid first thing."

"It's not a problem at all... we'll be there waiting for you."

And I meant it. In two months, Zedlin would enter physically into my life again and I didn't want to lose my grip.

He always had his ways of making me lose all reason, but I meant business this time.

The future of our family depended on it.