Chapter 18: A Despicable Man

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Is it even right to call Meng Yao his confidante?' Chuan Han asked himself. 'Are we even friends?' 

"MENG YAO!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" a scream lit up the air. It was Chuan Han. 

Nearly two years had passed since that night. And in those two years, the world seemed to have flipped upside down. Everything was wrong. 

The once lively and innocent Jin Guangyao had slowly changed into a demon of ice and stone. At first, the changes weren't too noticeable. It was a few harsh words here and there, moments where that cold, calculated expression would flash across the young man's face. Chuan Han never thought too much of it. He had assumed it was just a natural part of growing up. 

It wasn't until the latter had framed Wei Wuxian at the Battle of Burial Mounds and Qiongqi Path, that Chuan Han started to see the changes in his friend. Jin Guangyao had been ruthless, even going as far as to kill his own brother and sister-in-law. He had turned to demonic music, playing a page from the Collection of Turmoil. The look in his eyes had made even Chuan Han shiver with fear. Those eyes were so calculating, so different from the youthful naivety that had shone in there before. 

Jin Guangyao always had a way with words. He could make you feel at ease with just a few witty replies. A few limericks down the line, and you would feel as if you had been friends for years. Chuan Han never cared too much about it. But now, he could see the former's forced pretense of friendliness. Nothing Jin Guangyao did was natural anymore. It was always done with a purpose in mind. 

The only times he would be himself, was with Sect Leader Lan. Chuan Han felt envy tear through him at the thought. Meng Yao, his best friend, no longer cared for his company. All of Jin Guangyao's days were spent accompanying Lan Xichen. It was like Chuan Han never existed, having been replaced with a bigger, better model. 

Chuan Han always kept the same excuse in mind. He had always thought that whatever Meng Yao did, it was because he had to. The massacre of the Qiongqi Path? That was because his father forced him to. The Battle of Burial Mounds? That was to rid the world of Wei Wuxian. After all, someone as dangerous to the cultivational world as him couldn't possibly be allowed to live. Bringing Xue Yang in as a guest cultivator? That was so they could research the Stygian Steel Amulet- so they could make sure no one else could ever recreate it. 

Time and time again, Chuan Han would make excuses for his friend. But now that the truth was staring him dead in eyes, Chuan Han couldn't justify Jin Guangyao's actions any longer. 

"Chuan Han..." Jin Guangyao's murmured, he sounded scared and weak. "I-I have to. Please believe me. I wouldn't do this unless I had no choice..." 

"No choice?" Chuan Han's voice came out mocking. "No choice?! Meng Yao! He's your sworn brother! He's the man that took us in and gave us a place with his sect when your mother died! How could you use the Collection of Turmoil on him?!"

"Brother Chuan," the other whispered. "He wants to kill me..." 

Chuan Han was shocked, "What do you mean he wants to kill you?! Meng Yao! He's a fair man. He might not like you, but he would never go as far as to murder you in cold blood!" 

"Chuan Han." this time Jin Guangyao's voice was steady. "Don't you believe me?" 

Chuan Han took a deep breath, somewhat taken aback by the question. Did he believe him? He wanted to. Chuan Han wanted to believe that this was the same boy that brought him food when he was hungry. He wanted to trust that this was the same Meng Yao that once promised that they would be friends forever. But was it? Was Meng Yao really the same as 14 years ago? 14 years ago, he was still just a little boy, untroubled by the ways of the world. 14 years ago when he acted in compassion and understanding. 14 years ago, when the clever Meng Yao would use his talents to help others.

 Was it really just 14 years ago? It seemed like nearly a lifetime had passed since then. The man in front of him was nothing like the Meng Yao of the past. He was nothing the childhood companion that Chuan Han had cherished so dearly. This man- this man that stood before him, he was like a statue, chiseled by the burdens of responsibility. 

"I don't know," Chuan Han confessed at last. 

Instantly, the other's eyes hardened. "Very well. Then I presume that you will not speak of this to others then?" it was asked a question, but the underlying threat was clear as day. 

"Meng Yao... please don't do this..." Chuan Han begged. 

"I have no choice." 

"B-bu-"

"Nothing happened here today." 

"Please don-"

"Good day."  

Chuan Han looked on in despair at Jin Guangyao's disappearing figure. "Meng Yao... what have you done?"

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...Sect Leader Nie has passed away due to unfortunate circumstances. We ask that you please attend his funeral, and join us in mourning the death of such a great hero.

Chuan Han sat in shock at the words written on the letter, his mind still struggling to process. Nie Mingjue was dead. Nie Mingjue, their savior- the man who gave them a home, a place to stay, and a purpose to live, was now dead. Killed by the same man that he once showed mercy to. 

They said it was by Qi Deviation, but Chuan Han knew better. It was the Collection of Turmoil. It was the Song of Cleansing that Meng Yao had played for the Nie Sect Leader. It was his own brother that killed Nie Mingjue. 

Chuan Han felt sick to his stomach. What had Meng Yao done? 

Chuan Han pondered on what to do. He felt like a stone was sitting in his stomach, and regret wrapped itself around him. The guilt was choking him. 'What if he had done something? What if he had told someone? Would this whole thing be different? Would Sect Leader Nie not have died?'  Chuan Han felt the tears coursing down his face, 'What about Meng Yao? Why did he do this? He said that Nie Mingjue wanted to kill him. What happened? What did he do? Was it because of the Sunshot Campaign? Did Nie Mingjue not forgive him? Maybe their brotherhood wasn't as peaceful as it looked...' Chuan Han sighed, 'What was the point of making all these assumptions? The only way he was going to get answers, was if he asked the man himself.' 

With that in mind, Chuan Han grabbed his cloak and dashed outside to find his friend. Jin Guangyao was a busy man. Ever since he had ascended to take on the position of Sect Leader, his time had become monopolized by trivial matters. He would often stay up late into the night, writing letter after letter of correspondence. 

Chuan Han was just about to knock on the door to Jin Guangyao's office, when he heard a cry. It was faint, but it sounded like an infant. 

"Kill him... hurry!" came a muffled voice inside. It was Jin Guangyao. 

Chuan stood there in horror, hand still poised above the door. Meng Yao... he was killing his own son. 'Oh god. No. Meng Yao wouldn't kill his son. He just wouldn't. What father would kill their own child? No, Chuan Han refused to believe that Meng Yao was that heartless. He knew his friend, and his friend would never do this.' Chuan Han paused, 'But did he really? Did he really know Meng Yao? Maybe he knew the Meng Yao of the past, but this Meng Yao is not the same as before. This Meng Yao killed his own brother. Would it really be past him to kill his son too?' 

Chuan Han gasped, 'No! If Meng Yao is killing the child, I need to do something about this. I need save him!'  

"MENG YAO!" he screamed kicking open the doors. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he shrieked, eyes wide when he saw the scene before him. The infant was lying cold on the floor, having been choked to death by a disciple. The disciple wore Gusu clothes and sported a stern face. His hands were still white from the effort he exerted. 

Chuan Han looked at Jin Guangyao in horror. "Y-You..." he trailed off, horrified. 

Jin Guangyao exchanged a look with the disciple. "Kill him," he ordered, pointing a finger at Chuan Han. 

Chuan Han didn't even get a chance to react before a sword had pierced through his abdomen. A wave of weakness overcame him as he collapsed onto the floor. The last thing he heard before his eyes closed and he surrendered to the darkness, was Jin Guangyao's disapproving voice, "I warned you Chuan Han. You can't blame me if you didn't listen..." 

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