BAD BOY SAVED (male pov)

No place like home.

Lately everything has come crashing into me at once and I honestly don't understand how I'm still here, not gasping for air because by some miracle I was holding my head above water and floating. I think that miracles name was Olivia.

A few weeks ago I submitted my statement to the police, listing every heart wrenching thing that evil man did to me. A few days ago I got the phone call I had been hyperventilating over. Except it didn't go exactly how I had thought it would.

Colin pleaded guilty, to everything.

Why? Was he remorseful? Did he have regrets?

His plea meant I didn't need to face him in court, I could simply be done with all of this and move on with my life. But, although it pains me to admit it I feel like I need more than that. I needed closure. I needed to see him be sentenced. I needed to visually witness, in person, the justice.

I just don't know how I'm going to possibly be able to do that.

One task at a time Liam, let's just concentrate on getting home.

The car hugged the black tarmac, each time the wheel turned it took me that little bit closer. It was stuffy inside the cab although the windows were open but somehow I still struggled to breathe. My lungs were collapsing, desperate for some fresh air.

My return home was going to change me forever and right now I didn't know if that was for better or for the worse. It was the unknowing that scared me the most, soon I would be forced to face Mom and Jax and I couldn't fall back into letting the abuse continue. I have lived away from it for so long now, knew what it was like to not constantly need your guard up. For that, things needed to be different this time.

The memories clung to my brain, every familiar street, the graffiti plastered on the same buildings, each bump in the road and tree on the pavement. My suffering, the endless abuse and the horrible words spoken. My neighborhood was everything that I could not stand. Everything familiar about this place was cutting into me like the sharpest glass shards - the tighter the memories grabbed hold the deeper the wounds cut. My scars hurt, I could feel each and every one of them all over my body. Reminding me of how they came about. Outside I was healed but somehow being back home made my skin feel sliced, bruised and broken all over again however underneath the outer layers lay damage so much worse.

He grabbed my hand, clutching it tightly. So tightly, no way to escape.

"Stay at my house." Olivia said softly, I flinched away from her touch. Pulling my hand away almost instantly in a movement that was far too exaggerated for how little her touch was.

Fuck sake Liam! I thought we were over this bullshit.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply in and out, settling down my own darkness which had returned by the bucket loads. Everything about this place reminded me of mom and him and Jax and me. I hated the person I was here. Weak. Unloved. Frightened. Damaged.

I fucking hate me.

"I gotta go home." I told her, swallowing down the fear.

Her eyes were soft, almost sad. They were a majestic green colour as always but this time she reflected the passing nature from the car window. Somehow in her eyes our hometown looked beautiful but I knew not to be fooled by that, her eyes would make everything look beautiful.

The solemn expression in her face didn't falter, she was worrying for me and I didn't need to be an empath to sense it. It was extremely clear. I could understand where her worry stemmed from, I was worried too. But I needed things to be different this time, I needed to face my fears, overcome them. I would feel better about myself for it, it was the only way I could progress and grow.

"I'm not a kid anymore Liv, it's gonna be different this time." I was determined but that didn't show in the breaking of my voice. I was being swallowed whole by the fear but I was strong enough to push through. I hope.

"Liam, on the beach you said-"

"I know what I said." I cut her off.

Don't say it.

Don't remind me.

I know.

I glanced towards the cab driver, his eyes occasionally floated towards us in the back seat but then returned to the road ahead. He was listening to everything we were saying. I couldn't talk about this, not now. Not in front of him.

"Not here." I told Liv, telling her with my eyes that I wasn't comfortable discussing it in front of the cab driver. She nodded her head with understanding.

If I didn't already tell Liv my plan I would have backed out but it's not about me anymore, it's about the innocent children he works with. I needed to face them all, fight a battle that I wasn't ready for. I had no choice, it was the only way to free myself.

We pulled up outside her house, my eyes lingered down the road and I felt sick to my stomach with nerves, fear and climbing anxiety. Very slowly Olivia joined me on the pavement, her face had paled considerably as well, making the dusting of freckles across her nose appear darker. Her innocent mind seemed troubled by disturbing thoughts.

"Can you help me in with my bags?" I knew her question was just a ploy to delay the inevitable but I couldn't not carry her bags in for her, she had more than me anyway. I grabbed hold of two of her duffle's and followed behind her, shamelessly checking her out from behind as she walked.

Being in her house was weird, it was like the bubble of safety when the whole world around you was warped. I really gave myself to her here, showed her my weakest most vulnerable moments. I cried in her arms, she dressed my wounds, I told her my secrets. My eyes fell on the tree house at the bottom of the garden.

That's where it all started. I took comfort in a little girl that lived only fifteen houses away from mine. She was the only person who really spoke to me, who played with me and made me forget about everything that I was returning home to. But now I'm an adult and I can't hide away in her tree house forever. I needed to be strong.

"Liv, I have never faced my fears. I'm scared to death of going home and seeing Jax and mom but I can't be helpless anymore. In order to move on from my past I need to face it and regain control. I'm going to be free."

I stood up from the kitchen bar stool and pulled her in closer to me, inhaling her tropical scent as if it was my willpower to get through this notion. My hand feathered down her hair, so soft. I was locking everything about her into my memory and deep down I knew it was in case I needed to think about it while I blocked out the darkness of Jax's fists. Or his boots.

Without haste I planted a soft kiss to the top of her head and then pulled back, wanting to escape before she managed to convince me to stay. There was enough power in her eyes alone to convince me of anything.

The sound of my footsteps banging against the concrete echoed the sound of my heart banging against my rib cage. I hated that my body shook like a leaf blowing in the high gale winds, I hated that I was frightened and I hated that I was in this situation to begin with.

Be strong Liam, you can do this.

Fifteen houses.

If I needed her she was only fifteen houses away.