BAD BOY SAVED (male pov)

Shower with me.

He haunted my dreams but when I woke I couldn't remember them even though I could feel in my heart they were about him. I wondered if I was going to fall into a phase of blacking out the really bad memories again. I welcomed that phase wholeheartedly because I wanted to forget. I used to do it a lot when I was younger and it got to a stage where I would black out memories that were not even concerning anything related to the abuse. The mind is a strange thing and enduring my abuse made me lose some of mine.

But as I got older more and more things triggered those memories and they all came crashing in at once hitting me like bus.

As soon as my eyes opened I frantically searched the room for her. It was the first emotion I felt, no it was the only emotion I felt. Fear. Absolute consuming fear. But then she smiled at me reassuringly and it reminded me I wasn't alone.

"I'm going to go help them set up for dinner" she told me as the delicious smell flooded the room. I think she had purposely waited for me to wake up before she left and I was thankful for that but I didn't want her to leave me.

I needed her close. I couldn't be alone, I wasn't strong enough. I could feel his presence on me, his hands touching me. I needed to shower, I haven't showered in days. I needed to wash this feeling away.

My heart raced as she walked towards the door and my palms started clogging up with sweat.

Don't go. Don't leave me.

My head screamed but I didn't feel brave enough to say those words out loud. They sounded stupid, weak. So instead I tugged on her arm and pulled her back, letting her body come crashing into mine. I rested my forehead against hers.

"Shower with me." I tried to sound seductive with my order but I don't think I was fooling either one of us.

"What?" She giggled, not taking my request seriously.

Fuck, could I do this?

I looked towards the shower cubicle, it was a confined space. Probably bigger than the closest I was in with her merely just days ago. It might not be too bad. Except we would be naked. I'd have touch her. I couldn't just invite her to shower with me and then just ... shower. Maybe she could face away. I can keep my bodily distance from her and her hands won't be near me. But what if she expects more?

Shit. What is the alternative? I'm left alone with my thoughts. Alone where I can feel him everywhere. Alone where I'm scared of him coming back.

I turned back to her screwing my eyes tightly shut as I made my decision, neither one of them I felt truly confident with so I picked the one less scary.

"Shower with me." I asked again, sounding even more pained than the first time I asked.

"Liam, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe now, he's not going to hurt you again. He's not going to get anywhere near you again." Her eyes buried into my soul, making sure every layer of my person understood. But it wasn't enough. I was still terrified to my core.

"I just don't want to be alone." I admitted shyly.

Her head darted to the bathroom, thinking over my proposal and the fear climbed higher just at the simple thought of her accepting. He doesn't even have to be here to control my mind and force me into things I'm not yet ready for. When her beautiful green eyes landed back onto mine she had made her choice.

"You want me to sit with you while you shower?" She was a little awkward about asking but she had no idea how much I needed that. I exhaled every ounce of stress my body held. My Olivia, she just knows what I need and doesn't make me feel bad about it.