BAD BOY SAVED (male pov)

Lola.

"Hey." Lola stood sheepishly in my doorway, I don't think I could take her brutal remarks and straightforward comments right now. She entered my room and sat down beside me on the bed, I could sense she was nervous and I wondered if it was because of the information I disclosed downstairs. Maybe she looked at me differently now.

"I was abused too." She said quietly, she didn't look at me, she didn't breathe. "By my stepdad." She continued, getting the words out fast before she changed her mind.

"But you're so..." I searched for the words to describe Lola, she raised her eyebrow and looked me in the eye waiting for some sort of insult. But truth was, I always liked Lola, I recognized a courage in her that I could see shining as brightly as her hair. "Strong willed." I settled on.

"Exactly." She simply said.

I didn't understand how she was so independent, confident and determined. How she didn't take bullshit from anyone and was brutally honest but still a genuinely nice person. Why did her abuse not affect her the way mine affected me?

"For the longest time I stayed quiet because I didn't think my voice was loud enough to be heard. I thought my mom would take my stepdads side but then one day I spoke up and you know what the first thing she said to me was?"

I shook my head.

"I believe you."

I was stunned to a silence, I had no idea Lola suffered in the same way I did. She was so strong and fierce, it made me jealous. She hides her damage well but I crumble apart at the mere brush of someones arm against my own.

"They were the most powerful words I've ever heard in my life, she gave me the confidence I needed. With those three words I knew my voice would be listened to so I spoke louder. I faced him. I looked him in the eye in the courtroom and told him his actions wouldn't define me."

Her abuse shaped her personality, just in a different way to mine. She isn't afraid to speak out about whatever is on her mind because she knows her thoughts and opinions will be heard. She is stronger because of her abuse.

"You're brave, I don't think I could ever do that." I admitted honestly.

"Liam you're incredibly brave. Look at everything you've been through already and you're still here fighting. You're not a victim, you're a survivor. We're both survivors so despite the things that happened to us in the past we will keep our head held high and move on because they will not take away our future." Her voice was full of confidence, she had confidence that she could do it. She had confidence that I could do it. She had more confidence in me than I had in myself.

"What happened to your stepdad?" I wasn't sure if I should have asked this question but there was a slight smile on her face so that instantly let me know I hadn't pushed too far.

"I got my closure and he got life in prison."

"And that was enough?" Her cheeks turned slightly pink and she frowned, feeling awkward about answering my question. "You don't have to -" I reassured her.

"No, it's okay. I don't know if it's enough but it's a start. I still see him in my nightmares sometimes but they're not as bad as they used to be. They only usually occur when I'm stressed or going through a hard time. Flashbacks happen if I smell something familiar or hear a song that was playing at the time but on the whole, daily I'd say I'm doing okay.

Intimacy for me is sometimes hard. I like to lead guys on and then stop at the last second just to prove to myself that I can say no and that I'm in control. But sometimes it's fine, I can give myself to someone completely, it just depends how safe I feel with that person.