Dream SMP (Hogwarts AU)

Remind Me to Tell You to Never Be a Healer

And then the universe said 'Fuck you.'

Wilbur let out a small yelp when his broom jerked forward, making him crash on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. "Wil, what the hell!" Tommy rushed over to his brother's side, crouching down. "Are you alright?" He asked.

Wilbur groaned as he sat up straight, his left hand supporting his right arm. "That hurt so, so much."

"Did you break it?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Ah, shit," Tommy said as he nibbled on his lip. "Sorry 'bout that. Maybe I should have gone and get it myself."

Wilbur let out a chuckle, "Don't be stupid, you and I both know that if you manage to get on my broom, it would have thrown you down to the ground." Tommy stayed silent as he stared at Wilbur's injured arm. 

Wilbur sighed, "It's fine Tommy," he tried reassuring the boy. "Nothing a little magic can't fix."

Tommy perked up at Wilbur's words. "Hold on, I think I know a spell that can fix that." He said as he pulled his wand from his robe pocket.

Wilbur raised an eyebrow, "You do?" He smirked. "Tommy's been doing homework is he?"

"Shut up bitch," Tommy said. "I always do my homework...unless when I don't."

"I swear if you accidentally kill me," Wilbur said.

"Oh stop being such a pussy," Tommy said as he stood up and pointing his wand in Wilbur's general direction, not really aiming at Wilbur's arm. "I can't fuck up the spell that bad."

"Brackium Emendo!"

The moment the light from the wand hit Wilbur, his entire body went limp. "Tommy, what the fuck did you do!" Tommy made an unsure face before approaching Wilbur, who made the attempt to sit up but instead threw his arms and leg up, making them jiggle around. 

"AHHH," Tommy yelled, stumbling backwards. "What the hell?!"

"You tell me! My arms and legs feel like rubber!"

"I don't know!" Tommy yelled back. "I just read that some guy named Lockhart used that spell on Harry Potter once!"

"Did you even read the whole thing?!" Wilbur asked.

"Wilbur, you know I don't fucking read warning labels! What makes you think I read the whole thing?"

"Lockhart was a fraud! You just de-boned me," WIlbur said.

"Tell me what to do then!" Tommy said. "Am I supposed to bone you?!"

"Wha—No!" Wilbur took a deep breath and exhaled. "Just—just bring me to the Hospital Wing and let Madam Posy deal with this."

Tommy sighed, "Right, come on then." He stood up.

"I said bring me!"

"Oh." Tommy crouched back down and grabbed both of Wilbur's arms and pulled. "WIlbur, I can't—you're to tall!"

"Am I? Am I really? Huh Mr. I'm 6 foot 3," Wilbur said.

"I am 6 foot 3!"

"Then I won't be too tall for you now would I?"

"Shut up!" Tommy tried gathering both of Wilbur's arms and legs, only for one of the arm to come flying into his face. "Wilbur, put some effort into it man."

"Oh, I'm sorry let me just—oh wait. I have no bones!"

Tommy dropped Wilbur's limbs and stood up. "Stop it," he whined. "Stop it or I'm leaving you here."

Wilbur narrowed his eyes at the younger, "You wouldn't dare."

Tommy narrowed his own eyes, "Try me."

They both stared at each other for a while. Wilbur didn't want to give in and let Tommy win, he really didn't, but him being the older one, he has to be the more reasonable of the two. He sighed, "How about you just use a levitation charm on me and pull me towards the Hospital Wing."

Tommy huffed out a laugh, "Like a balloon?"

"Yes, like a balloon." 

Tommy did as was asked, and made Wilbur float. He held onto Wilbur's necktie, which was now attached to his right leg instead of his neck. "Hi! I'm Wimbler!" Wilbur said in a high pitched voice, as if he inhaled helium, making Tommy laugh. 

Tommy pulled Wilbur with him, leaving the Astronomy Tower. "Don't leave the Quaffle!"

Now, they were leaving the Astronomy Tower, Quaffle tucked under Tommy's free hand. They walked through the halls of the castle, earning stares from other students. The situation sparked an idea in Wilbur's head.

"Hello everyone!" Wilbur greeted, using one of his rubber arms to wave at them. "Do you remember when Tommy here walked around the castle bald?" He asked. 

Tommy tugged Wilbur down, his face slightly red. The small amount of students in the vicinity let out a little chuckle, apparently some still remembered that incident. "What the hell! that happened like two years ago! Why would you remind people that!"

Wilbur tried to shrug his shoulders, but instead hit Tommy's face with his rubber arms. "Wil, I will literally let you float up to the sky if you don't fuckin' shut your mouth." Wilbur knew it was a empty threat. He chose the one embarrassing moment that Tommy once mentioned he didn't mind that people remembered. He could have done so much worse, but didn't. He wasn't that much of an arsehole.

Wilbur closed his eyes and looked away from Tommy, making the younger's eye twitch. "I can't wait to pass you over to Madam Posy," Tommy mumbled and continued on his way to the Hospital Wing. 

When they got there, the two got an immediate scolding from Madam Posy—the matron—for both being reckless and flying to the roof, as well as trying to use spells that hey were not sure what it did. "Drink this," she handed a vial to Wilbur, "Skele-Gro. It is not going to be a pleasant night for you young man." She grabbed the vial after Wilbur drank it's contents and went to dispose of it.

Tommy, who sat beside Wilbur's bed, sighed. "Thanks for getting the ball Wil. And, sorry for al the trouble. Genuinely."

Wilbur let out a sigh of his own. "You're a pain in the arse you know," he paused. "But that's alright. You wouldn't be Tommy if you weren't."

"I hate you," Tommy said, blankly. 

"Same here," Wilbur said.

Madam Posy came back and shooed Tommy out of the Hospital Wing. "The potion should take effect soon, and I'd rather if the patient is alone," she said.

"Bye Wilbur," Tommy waved.

Wilbur waved back, wordlessly. 

Before Tommy could leave through the door, he heard Madam Posy say, "This is going to hurt, prepare yourself."

And not even half-way through the hallway, Tommy could hear WIlbur yell.

"Tommy! I will fuckin' get you for this!"

+++++

Some more Wilbur and Tommy! Thank you all for the support that you give this series! I hope you guys enjoyed this part.

Want to know more about those two jerks that approached Tommy? Read Big Brothers

Prompt Suggestions are always open, feel free to comment your ideas, and I will get to them...you know, eventually, lol. Again no shipfics because I have no clue how to write romance.
Thank you for reading! Comments and suggestions are appreciated.

-LuminaStarCrest