Jaded

[44] What Matters Most

"I didn't say anything to him. I don't un-" Atty begins, but Jay cuts him off.

"Stop! Just stop. I know it's you, it has to be you."

"So you don't believe me?"

"No. I don't."

Move. I need to move. Deep breathe in. Out. My brain is spinning and I have no idea what to say. I thought the Sahara would flood before I ever saw brothers like Atty and Jay fight this way. What do I do in a situation like this?

I collect myself as best as possible and stand beside Atty. Clearing my throat, I say, "it doesn't matter if Atty did something or not, please stop fighting. You guys love each other too much to let something like this get in the way."

Atty gasps, as if he's out of breath. He turns to me, eyes wide. "Doesn't matter? Of course it matters, what does that even mean? Do you not believe me either?"

What is happening?!

I need things to slow down, I can't process anything when everything's just whipping past me like this.

Atty's shoulders droop, his mossy green eyes glazing over. With his voice barely above a whisper, he asks, "you really don't...?"

Obviously I do! Crap, why is my throat so dry? I clench my fists and manage to start, "I-"

Jay scoffs, "we love each other too much? If that was true, if he loved me as much as you're claiming, Jade, then he wouldn't have involved himself with things that have nothing to do with him."

There's a line that's about to be crossed, I just know it.

Atty slowly turns towards Jay, his gaze hardening as the mood shifts from worry to anger. "Cut the crap. I already told you I didn't do anything, so drop it. If I wanted to get in your way, I would've whacked some sense into Leo a week ago."

I want to redirect his attention and tell Atty that I do believe him, but it feels like the time for it has already passed. What's happening now is more important. This, with Jay, needs to be fixed first. I'll have all the time in the world to tell him later.

Jay's face twists into a sneer. His words come out soaked in sarcasm. "Oh, you gave me an extra week? How so very incredibly kind of you."

Atty clenches his fists and folds his arms. "Don't test me, I mean it. I'm too old for that crap. I'm only going to tell you one more time. I did not say anything to Leo and I did not get involved."

"I don't believe you."

Atty scowls and grumbles, "this right here, your behavior, is enough proof that Leo was right. You're way too young, too immature. I'm glad he-"

"How can you say that? You... you're..." Jay sputters as tears crash down his cheeks in waves. His nose quickly tinges red as his lips curl in anguish. "You're supposed to be my big brother... you're supposed to protect me. How..."

I pace forward a few steps, stopping right in front of Jay. Quietly, I kneel on the stone walkway, meeting at eye level, and take his hands in mine. I make sure my voice is hushed, so Atty can't hear. "He does protect you, Jay. More than you'll ever know."

Jay shakes his head, his blonde locks giving off an almost silver glint under the mix of the porch light's glow and the moon's sparse illumination.

Making sure to lock eyes with Atty, Jay loudly declares, "he doesn't protect me. He doesn't even care, if he did then my happiness would matter. It would count for something. He wouldn't shred my heart into a billion pieces, because my heart would matter."

I hold back my gasp, as well as the urge to smack some sense into Jay. In as gentle of a voice as I can manage, I say, "I know you're heartbroken right now, and that you're hurting a lot. But please don't lash out at the wrong people."

Jay doesn't get a chance to respond because we both get distracted by the low rumble of an engine nearby.

It's Atty.

I hop on my feet and rush through the stone path to the driveway where Atty's already got his bike up and running. He's about to put his helmet on. I know it's futile, but I check behind me anyways. As expected, Jay hasn't followed me; he's still seated on the front steps.

"Wait, Atty," I call out, jogging over to him as fast as possible. "Where're you going?"

"I need space."

An excruciating sort of panic shoots through my entire body, as if I've been stung by a thousand bees all at once. 

"But we need to fix this first. We need to convince Jay, and make him feel better, and stop the fight."

Atty rests his helmet against the glossy black metal of his bike's fuel tank. "I know. I'll fix this. I just need some space first, so I can calm down. Words matter- I don't want to say something I can't take back. Especially not to Jay."

"But..."

"I promise I'll come back, Madeira-Jade."

/\/\**/\/\**/\/\

I meant to post this one a while ago, my sincerest apologies. Loads of things happened, I got a job, got accepted to Law school (yay!), wrote several final papers, etc. and ended up losing track of the days.

Thankfully, since this one is a shorter chap, I have the time to already work on the next one, which is going to be wayy longer :)

What did you guys think? Who do you agree with? Who, if anyone, took it too far? Is it okay for Atty to just leave like that?

Any predictions on what'll happen next? I'd love to hear from you guys!