The New Girl

Chapter 10: Confronting the Issue

But that’s when she pulled me into a hug.

Her grip was firm, but comforting, and she rubbed my back slowly. She somehow made my intense body shaking stop for a moment.

“Luz...i’m so sorry you had to hear that...I really want to believe it’s some sort of misunderstanding...but it still wasn’t right. I’m right here for you though sweetie, you can let it all out.”

I didn’t waste any time taking her advice. I gripped onto her shirt and started to let it all out. It was such a bleak moment that I don’t remember how long it lasted, but I wanna say I was there with her for like 10 minutes. Mom kept me in her arms, slowly rubbing my back while saying “shhh” lightly over and over again.

“Its….it’s not fair....why would she act like she cared about me, but then say all of that st-stuff…? At least in RVA, no one pretended to be my friend…why did she lead me on…?” I was barely comprehensible. I was very quiet, and the sobs in between words didn’t help, but Mom heard me clearly.

“Well like I said….maybe it’s something she didn’t mean...I don’t know, maybe she was lying as a cover?” I looked at Mom with a confused look. “I know I had to do that a couple of times in high school.” I just shook my head and finally backed away from her.

“I don’t think so….she sounded so….genuine there…” I recalled the way she said all of those things. The spite and disgust in her voice completely shattered me right then and there. I still feel the impact that first hit me as I sat in the car.

“Well...is there anything you want to do to make you feel better? We can go somewhere to eat, watch a movie at the house. I’ll read with you if you want, it’s up to you mija.” A smile briefly appeared on my face when she was willing to do all of that, but I didn’t want here to do all of that because of me.

“Thanks Mami...but I just want to rest when we get home...I think that’ll help a little…” She patted my shoulder as she started the car again.

“Well if you need anything, i’ll be there in a heartbeat.” She smiled at me as she pulled off the side. I smiled back real quick and I stared out the window again. I felt a tiny bit better after all of that, but my soul was still completely shattered.

I felt the thoughts fester up in my mind again, but I didn’t fight it this time. There was no point to fighting it. I just let it bombard me with hateful sayings and voices. They had won today.

“Tanto por estar enamorada..”

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The next  few hours after that was honestly pretty weird when it came to my emotional state.

Obviously I spent a majority of that time crying and sobbing on my bed like a fucking mess. My pillow was basically drenched by it all, along with my sleeve. But after a while where I couldn’t physically cry anymore, I started feeling something else. An emotion that I never associated with the many heartbreaks I had before.

I was pissed.

Amity was completely spitting shit to Boscha. ‘Who reads Azura?’ like what the fuck? Is she serious? I don’t know if she was being hypocritical or something else, but that shit didn’t add up at all.