The New Girl

Chapter 7a: A Visit

It has been a few hours since that moment. Since I broke down in front of Amity, and I feel like real shit because of it.

I can't believe that I became that vulnerable...that weak in front of her. I was wanting to have a good time with her, but my mind had other plans it seemed, making me have, not just one, but two breakdowns.

But it was thanks to Amity for making the situation better. Instead of just running off and leaving me alone, as I expected, she actually stayed by my side and provided me comfort that I needed. I don't think I ever had anyone do that to me to that extent. It's honestly surprising, and I can't comprehend it.

The rest of the day wasn't anything special. Despite Amity lighting the mood, I still felt like shit afterwards when we parted ways. I couldn't walk with her because of the risk of Boscha seeing us, and I don't think I would've been emotionally strong enough to just ignore her this time. Amity promised she would keep her away as much as she could, and that added a level of appreciation I had for the girl.

I'm pretty sure the others knew something was up with me. I saw their weary glances and head shifts to me and each other as I passed them. None of them attempted to see what was wrong, but I'm pretty sure they did it so I can have space. I honestly don't know what I would've wanted except to be with Amity again.

It did seem like Amity kept her promise though, because I didn't run into Boscha for the rest of the day.

A random knock interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to reality. Knowing that it could only be one person, I told them to come in, and walked in Mom.

"Hey Mija, how are you feeling?" She hesitated about walking in, before I nodded to let her in. I didn't tell her exactly what happened between me and Amity, but all I said was that my mind fucked me up again.

"Could be better, could be worse." I said blankly, lacking any emotion in that sentence. She sat at the edge of my bed as she looked down at me.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm sure it couldn't be that bad." She paused for a moment before continuing on. "You've been doing good for the first week, I'm sure whatever you did is just some kind of overreaction."

Yeah, because breaking down in front of a person you admire is something to overreact about.

I just shrugged my shoulders at her as I sat up with my knees against my chest. Mom scooted closer to me and leaned in with a hug.

"I'm sorry you're feeling down right now sweetheart, but I know it's gonna be fine." I just placed my head on her shoulder as she slowly stroked my hair. "If there's anything you want me to do to help you, I would be willing to do that in a heartbeat." At least with the lack of friends I used to have, I always had Mom to help me through the extremely bad times, and she hasn't changed with that since.

"You're doing exactly that." I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. I didn't picture anything, I didn't hear any voices in my head, or any negative thoughts festered up in my mind. My head became clear, and it felt so calm. That's one of the things I love about my Mom, she has this ability to make me feel calm, no matter how shitty I feel.

A knock from downstairs interrupted the peaceful moment, and Mom let me go.

"Hmm, I wonder who that could be...maybe the neighbor or someone." She got up and looked down at me. "Feel better now?"