My Mess

Chapter Fifteen: Sleeping In Cars, Five Hours Away From Home

He adjusted on my lap to sit back a bit and I instantly took the initiative to unbutton his jeans quickly and with ease, I unzipped his zipper.

I was this close. This fucking close to getting his shirt off when my goddamn phone started vibrating in my pocket.

Normally I'd be all 'oh yeah. I'll use it as a vibrator lol' and just go on with it. But after ignoring the call the first time, ignoring the text the second call and then ignoring the next few calls, I realized that it was probably my dad.

Because let's be honest, nobody wants to talk to somebody at 3AM that badly.

I groaned against his (his name is Alfie by the way) lips and stopped. He attached his lips to my neck. I was okay with that, I would just have to make sure he wasn't too noisy... then again it was my dad and I'm sure he's heard worst from the times he'd called my mom at midnight when she was on her escapades.

"What?" I said, annoyed, but not quite snapping. I had some respect, okay?

"Cole are you fucking insane!"

I winced and Alfie paused on my lap, giving me a confused look. I shrugged.

"Define 'insane'." I said slowly.

"You leave my goddamn house in the middle of the fucking night telling me you're not going to be back! Are you fucking mental?! I should kick you out of the goddamn house! Who are you to decide when you come and go as you please?!"

I smiled awkwardly at Alfie and he pulled away from my lap, chest heaving slightly as he settled next to me, hand on my thigh as if trying to reassure me.

"The house was just too small, I wanted to get out. Have some fun. The ol' razzle dazzle. Ya-"

"No! Cole! No I don't fucking know! Don't even finish that goddamn sentence how am I supposed to 'know'?! I never texted my parents when I was a kid saying how I wouldn't be back for the next few days! For all I know you're snorting drugs and getting wasted with some pedophile! Jesus Christ, Cole!"

I licked my upper lip and ran a hand through my messy hair. "It was impulsive. I'm sorry for worrying you, I'm being responsible I swear on my life." I understood why he was mad, but I just couldn't do it. It was like... an antsy feeling. Like I just needed to run until I got my energy out, but anything physical resulted in me wailing like a bitch in pain so that was a definite no. But I just couldn't stay home. I'm not why. I just couldn't.

The house was only a home for so long.

Home isn't what you go to after school. A 'home', for me, would be the reason that I wake up. Who I wake up for. Why I even wake up at all. Those reasons are a home. Does that even make sense? Maybe I'm still running on lustful adrenaline or something. Was that a thing?

"You're damn right it was impulsive, Cole! I swear to god. You know what? Just... stay out of the house for a goddamn week if you're so against staying at it. Stay a Brian's or something. I pay these damn bills for the both of us and then you go and do stupid shit and I wonder why. Why Cole?! Why do I do shit for a stupid kid who doesn't have the fucking decency to ever think once in his goddamn life?!" He was yelling now, angry.

Well I mean, technically the thought of driving five hours away was a thought. That's normally how they work...