Overmorrow

Chapter 4: Birdy

I struggled to breathe as a corset was pulled taut around me. Pressure increased around my waist, forcing my posture to stand tall. As the knots were tightened over and over, I fought the allure of losing myself in my own head.

     I can't breathe. I really can't. I can't breathe every time my father says I have to pick a suitor to become my king. To stand beside me and rule the land that's mine, and mine alone. I can't breathe every time my mother narrows her eyes at me, and purses her lips to withhold the stream of insults she wishes to lecture me with. I can't breathe every time I see the maids in the hall giggling, and then immediately quieten down when they see me; serving as a constant reminder that I'm secluded. That I'm alone. But right now, right now with this goddamn suffocation device, I really can't breathe.

     "Come now, Birdy, suck in."

     I grit my teeth to refrain from snapping at my assistant. That despicable name has followed me around since I was a child.

     It all started when I was young, very young. My little toddler self needed something to talk to, to befriend. Something besides the castle servants. My title as Princess of Aynami has always had me on a leash controlled by my parents. Friends outside of the castle have always been a far off concept.

     Papa had walked into my room with a cage in hand. It held a bluebird. A gorgeous bluebird. She was lovely, with wings that were the color of the sky and a chest that was a burnished copper with touches of white. Her little eyes were dark as the night, but oh so intelligent. I loved her with all my might.

     Her name was Effy. My precious little Effy. I got her everything she could've ever desired in her tiny bird life. Her enclosure was large and spacious, she received the finest seeds and worms across the kingdom, I even put her on my shoulder and took her on walks all throughout the castle. But she wasn't happy.

     One night, it was rather late, and I was much too tired to even comprehend my responsibilities as caretaker of Effy. So as I went to bed, I left her cage unlocked.

     Effy took her chance. She left through the window that I always kept cracked in the summer without a second thought. She soared away under the moon's knowing watch. When I woke up I was flooded with hurt and confusion. Why didn't she love me enough to stay? More than anything, I wanted my friend back.

   Effy appeared in my dreams for many moons after she escaped. In my head, I saw her weave in and out of trees as she flew. Every once in a while she would dive down for a creature she saw below her, always on the hunt. She looked truly happy, something she never seemed when she was with me. Did my unrelenting unhappiness in my cage spread to Effy? Is that why she left?

     I mourned my friend for days, I mourned my freedom. Refusing to eat or drink. Refusing to move on. My parents got desperate. I was surprised with another bird. This one was a bluejay. I didn't want a bluejay, I wanted to be like Effy. Free.

     I learned to love my bluejay. With her pristine navy feathers and pale stomach, she was just as pretty as my long gone bluebird. I named her Runi. My lovely little Runi. I gave her all I had to give. I was always watching after her, always stroking her feathers, always making sure I locked her cage.

     After several weeks in the company of my new bird, her happiness began to fade, much like Effy's. I remember being sad, heartbroken even because I knew what she wanted. Tears began to trickle down my face as I opened Runi's cage. My cries grew louder while I watched her slowly make her way to the window, looking back at me to see if I was playing a trick. My sobbing echoed through the corridors as I stared into the world my birds left me behind for. I remember looking up to the sky, a broken plea leaving my sore throat, "Take me with you!" Soon enough I was the newest joke amongst maid-gossip. The girl who shed tears for birds.