Desire (boyxboy)

Chapter 16

Jacob's P.O.V.

What the hell am I going to do! This is the thought that keeps running through my head. I want to. I really, really want to completely love Dustin but I'm so scared. It starts out so innocently. We kiss, touch, caress, lick, sometimes nibble and bite, suck but then the grinding begins and everything inside of me goes crazy. One time we were naked and I was on top of him and I was rubbing my dick against his when it slipped due to all the pre-cum and slid downward almost entering his asshole.

Everything inside of me froze with fear. I was still and Dustin just looked into my eyes and caressed my face and said, "Baby, it's okay. Just move it out the way and we can just lie down okay." It took everything inside of me to breath. The fear can be so paralizing sometimes and I thank God that Dustin understood and was so patient with me.

However as fate would have it, I can't seem to control my body any longer. I feel like I've been in a state of torturous arousal for months now and I am so ready to SNAP. Jeff and I have spoken about it but I may just need to talk to Sky and see what finally helped him cross over his fear to be with the one he loved completely.

I'm also afraid of losing Dustin because honestly, who wants to deal with this kind of crap. He has needs and I know what he trully wants. I can see it in his eyes everytime we get close and I pull back. The absolute agony I go through everytime I see the look of disappointment come across his face before he tries to hide it from me.

As I sit in my office looking out of my window Sky walks in and locks my office door. He walks over to my desk and sits down and says to me, "How far are you willing to go?" I look over to him with a bit of confusion on my face. He says to me, "Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone. Dammit Jake you have to try. I know better than anyone else what the fear can do but if he really is worth it then TRY. JUST TRY!" At this point he is yelling at me and tears are running down his face.

As I got up to walk towards him and try to calm him down, there was a rattle and then a knock on my door and I new who it was before I even opened the door. Jeff looked pissed off when he entered my office and walked over to Sky to calm him down. Looking at them both the jealousy sometimes eats me up inside because what they have, that special bond, I want that so bad with Dustin.

"Hey calm down baby!", Jeff whispers to Sky as he caresses the side of his face and kisses his tears away. Sky looks over at me and says, "Jake, I just want you to be happy and I know Dustin makes you happy. Please TRY!", he whispers out brokenly and he just breaks my heart.

The tears start rolling down my cheeks and immediately Sky and Jeff both come over to me and wrap themselves around me. "Fuck Jake I'm so sorry!", Sky says into the side of my body. I breath out a heavy sigh and look over to each of them and simply say, "What the hell am I going to do? I don't know where to begin. How do I overcome this fear. Oh God..."

"We can help. He's not going anywhere Jake.", says Jeff. I look over at my dearest of all friends and say to him, "Do you really believe that? You think he's just going to keep waiting around for me to figure all this shit out!" "YES...", Dustin says as he walks through my office door.

"Sky, Jeffrey, I need to speak with Jacob alone, please.", he says to them. Sky gets up on his tip toes and places a gentle kiss on my cheek and whispers to me, "Try!" Then he and Jeff walk out of my office shutting the door behind them.

I watch Dustin intensely as he walks over to me. He presses his entire body against mine as he leans in and nibbles on my bottom lip gently. An uncontrollable half sigh, half moan comes out of me and then he looks up into my eyes with so much love that I just break and the tears start rolling down my cheeks. He reaches up and starts to wipe my tears away and says to me, "I love you so much. I don't care how long THIS takes. Don't let anyone dictate when you're ready because baby, I'm not going anywhere, Okay!" I nod my head in understanding.

Looking at him I come to a realization, soon I am going to give in to my desire for Dustin and there is nothing I can do to stop it.