Tempting (Man x Man)

Tempting - Chapter 53: Psychological Effects

"Better?"

I nod, feeling an alarming wave of gratitude. I wring my hands to cope with these foreign

emotions as I try to get my mind back on track.

"Sorry... its just... this is a lot and..."

"Its alright, I understand. We get people like you in here all the time, its just standard procedure. As long as you're telling the truth, there should be no problems."

"...Alright." I force out, my mind still in shambles... Maybe he can help me, now that I've talked to

him, he at least seems a lot nicer then the people I first dealt with getting here.

"I'm just going to ask you a few questions and you need to answer them to the best of your ability. Is that okay?"

Again I nod.

"Good. So, how old are you?"

"26 s-sir."

"Mhm, when's your birthday?"

"December 17"

"Have any siblings?"

"1... He's my older brother"

"What's your Mother and Father's name?"

"M-Maria and Pat Stewert" He takes a moment to jot some notes inside the dark folder in front of

him as I peer at the clock on the wall. I find the ticking to be kind of soothing, and little by little I

start to ease up from the presence of Mr. Turner.

"Now I want to get a little more in depth pertaining to your life. What was your childhood like?"

"...Uhm, well... It wasn't the best, but I did a lot better then other kids."

"What made it 'not the best'?"

"School... bullying." I feel my heart squeeze as buried memories start to scratch to the

surface. I shake my head, knowing that this isn't the place or time.

"I can tell this a sore subject, so let's just return to it another time. What about your parents? How was your dynamic with them?"

"It was alright, I guess." I mutter, looking down at my hands.

"... Were you not close to them?"

"...Its not like we didn't talk or they were the.... worst parents in the world. We just didn't do a lot together so."

Mr. Turner nods and takes another moment in the folder to write some things down.

"I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable Calvin Stewert. I want to make sure you feel safe with me."

"N-No, its not you."

He clicks the end of his pen on the table as his eyes ground into me. The stare is so intense,

that I actually start involuntarily fidgeting to get away, but as if it was just a trick of the light, his

expression instantly turns back to normal.

"So, more on your parents. What occupations did they have?"

"My Dad's a cop, and my Mother works in retail. At least, that's all I knew before I left."

"What about your brother? How did he function in the family dynamic?"

"Well my brother's older then me, so he made a lot of the family decisions." I take a small breath before continuing,

"We aren't as close as we were when we were younger. Since my family didn't do much together, we would sometimes just hang out, giving each other company."

"And how did that make you feel? Not being close to your parents?"

"...Uh, I... I don't know." I cough away the tremble in my voice. Come on Calvin, its just a question.

"I knew they were busy so-"

"But even if they were, you still were a child. You probably felt alone, especially when it came to you being bullied in your school right? You said your brother was there sometimes, but a parents connection to their child is different."

I don't respond but stare down at my hands, my mind pulling me further and further into my

past. I try to hold my breath, stop my shaking, do anything to restrict the tears forming in my

eyes, but they fall down my cheeks anyway.

"You probably felt angry, right? Angry at the world around you. I understand that this is something that's personal... do you want a tissue?"

Knowing my voice is hoarse, I nod before he gives me a napkin to wipe my eyes with.

My cheeks grow warmer as more tears spill over. This is so embarrassing.

"Don't worry, the worst has passed. Do you mind if I ask more questions?"

"N-No."

"Good. Now, I wanted to ask if there was any mental illnesses you were diagnosed with when younger or recently?"

My eyes bulge as a blurry memory of Mr. Malone's words pass over my mind. When you're mentally ill.

"Um... I..."

"Hm? I need you to work with me here."

"I-I know... I didn't really get diagnosed or anything, but... I have a little problem w-with eating."

"Eating?"

"Y-Yes." I exhale deeply, not believing that I let out my deepest most embarrassing secret about

me. I don't know if my shoulders are lighter or if I'm just going to feel 10x worst about this in a

few hours, but all I can think about now is giving information that Mr. Turner needs so I can be

let out.

"Certain foods just... its hard to explain but I just don't like to eat a lot, especially since I want to go on a diet."

"Mhm. How long have you had this?"

"Um, for a while now I think."

"Even in childhood?"

I nod. He proceeds to once again take notes, the etching of pen on paper suddenly making me

feel a little uneasy. I try to ignore it by paying more attention to the bland grey walls and the

dusty smell of the room.

"Now, I want to ask a few more questions and then we will move on to more specific topics. Did your parents used to punish you, and how?"

"...Excuse me sir?"

"You know how some parents discipline their kids, some do it differently then others. Some go too far and usually that inflicts significant psychological effects on the child... can you tell me about a specific time where either one of your parents may of went too far? Don't be afraid to tell me, it may help with your case." 

Have a good weekend!