Chapter 37

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Long chapter! I couldn't split it up, but I also had so much to write. Hope you don't mind. 18+, sexual content, detailed. Trigger warning: mentions of death.

The soft rapping of knuckles against wood startled me out of my trance. I had just spent a few hours staring out of my window into the gloomy air, which was a massive change to the morning I spent staring at the ceiling of my bedroom.

All that ran through my mind was the same three words.

Die or die.

Die after Voldemort took ultimate power, after he killed Harry and either killed or enslaved the rest of us.

Die reviving Voldemort, after he was able to somehow come back to life again after being killed by Harry.

I had made up my mind entirely--I would rather Harry kill Voldemort. I would rather buy all of them enough time to run, to get as far away from Britain as humanly possibly. I wanted them all to wipe their existence off of the map, pretend like they never existed. That way, when Voldemort did return, he would have to go through hell to find them. I owed them all that much--I owed Remus' child that much.

"Come in." I said, my voice raspy from under use.

Remus' head popped into my room, and he pushed his way into my room. I was sitting on the bench in front of my window, wrapped tightly in a blanket with a mug of cold tea in my hand.

"Rather gloomy day." Remus noted, pointing outside.

"I've noticed that." I said softly, nodding my head. Remus sighed deeply, walking closer to me.

"Elizabeth, I am worried about you. It's been almost two days since we've spoken. You're beginning to worry me." Remus said, sitting down on the bench in front of me. I laughed once without humor. It sounded more like a bark.

"I'm great, Remus. Honestly. I mean, I've basically just been told that if Harry succeeds, which we want him to, that I'll be murdered in an attempt to bring back You-Know-Who. Tell me how you'd feel?" I said, leaning my chin in my hand sarcastically and fluttering my eyes at him.

A fierceness crossed Remus' face that I had never seen before. One moment he was calm, the next he was enraged. I leaned away from him quickly.

"Elizabeth Victoria. Do you think, for a second, that I would allow anything to happen to you? Did you think we would just offer you up?" He demanded, his voice loud with rage.

"Well, no, but-

"But nothing." Remus said, the finality in his voice effectively cutting off my rebuttal.

"Now come downstairs. It's Christmas Eve." Remus said, his voice effectively softer than it was before.

I sighed, pushing myself up and following him downstairs.

By the fireplace was a Muggle Christmas tree. It sat tall and proud, decorated with gold and red tinsel and an impressive array of green and red round ornaments. Under it, a plethora of presents wrapped in colorful paper.

Upon seeing me, Tonks jumped to her feet and smoothed her robes over her belly.

"Merry Christmas, Lizzie!" she said, her eyes jumping to Remus for reassurance.

"Merry Christmas, Tonks. Are we opening presents tonight or something?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound light and breezy.

"Er, yes. Tomorrow--Tomorrow Remus is going with Kingsley...they're going on a mission. They must leave...on Christmas, unfortunately." Tonks said, her voice dropping to no more than a whisper. She looked over my shoulder at Remus, and the glitter of tears filled her eyes.

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