Thinking Part 17

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Chuuya

Fucking idiot, bastard, mackerel, traitor, sorry-waste of good bandages, suicidal piece of shit. Why do I love you? Chuuya slumped down in his office chair. I can't concentrate. How did I end up here? I need a glass of wine.

Chuuya was in his office, thinking about what had happened earlier that day. An ache stayed in his heart, a bit calmer than usual. Chuuya tries to concentrate on his work, but in the end, he stands up and goes to grab a bottle of wine from his cellar. He pops it open and pours himself a glass.

"Chuuya-chan, you shouldn't be drinking alcohol so early in the day."

"Hey, Nee-san." Chuuya takes a quick sip of his wine before placing it down on his desk.

"Hmm? What happened?" Kouyou Ozaki, Ability: Golden Demon. She sat down on one of the velvet seats in the room.

Chuuya stayed silent. I'm sorry, Nee-san, but I haven't told anything to you yet.

"Oh... Very well. Chuuya, do you want a hug?" Kouyou opens her arms. Chuuya silently walked over to be in her warm embrace. Kouyou covered him gradually and carefully with her arms. She played with his long locks as they stayed like that.

"I'm a Port Mafia executive, and yet, I'm stuck on this. What a person I am."

"I don't know what is this but, you're human. A human who needs a hug, that's all."

"Thanks, Nee-san."

"Unfortunately, I can only stay for so long, but I'll always be here." She tightens her embrace on Chuuya, not wanting to let go.

I wish I can tell you, but... What can you do, hmm? You're human after all.




Dazai

I'm sick, 
I'm broken,
I'm crazy,
I'm a criminal, 
I'm a killer,
I'm...


Odasaku, you have put such a terrible curse on me. Oh, dear friend of mine, what have you done? But then, I haven't told you a thing. Would everything be different if I, no we, told anyone? You're my dearest comrade, you really are. I wished our time together was longer, it would have been nice. 

Instead, you leave me in this desolate world and tell me to leave behind my life for the light. You did no wrong, you just didn't know. You didn't know...


Damn, I wish we told someone.




Akutagawa

Dazai-san, why? Why did you leave me and Chuuya-san? I didn't notice you being any different a month before you left. I have questions. I want you to answer them. You hurt us, Father. Should I even call you that? 

I always thought of you like that. A role model, someone I should follow endlessly. I want to be strong enough to prove that I'm worthy of being by your side. Strong enough to be your child.


Someone has been on my mind. It's a male. I don't know how I feel about him. I hate him for easily staying by Dazai's side, I respect him as he has the potential to become strong, and I feel, soft, when I notice him looking at me.

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