Tales of a Peculiar Pirate

17. Cheese

While it didn't taste awful like the previous crime against cooking she had been subjected to, it sure didn't taste anything like a grilled cheese sandwich. In fact, it tasted something like a tuna melt.

"What kind of cheese is this?" asked Polly.

"Tuna cheese," replied Croix nonchalantly as if tuna cheese was just another type of cheese and not something that shouldn't exist.

"I think there was a really strong gust of wind that just blew. Sorry, but I didn't catch that," replied Polly, ignoring the fact that they were indoors because she absolutely refused to believe that she had correctly heard tuna cheese was a thing. "So, what kind of cheese did you use?"

"Tuna cheese."

"Tuna cheese, you say?" inquired Ed.

"I'd like to think that's what I've been saying, but you fellas are starting to make me doubt myself."

"You speak of it as if it is a most ordinary ingredient, yet us chefs of Sea Island 4 know that it is a rare, most exquisite good."

Polly could not believe Ed had just called the atrocity an exquisite good. It was rare alright, so rare she had never heard of it, but exquisite? She shot the bird an unconcealed glance of abject horror.

"Dude...no..."

"Please don't mind her," said Ed to Croix, waving Polly silent with a wing. "She's from Sea Island 7 and doesn't know much about matters such as these. I must ask though, that cheese that was in the first sandwich I ate, what was it?"

"Ah," replied Croix with a nod of his head. "That one is my personal favorite, grape cheese, so I didn't think you fellas would hate it as much as you did."

"It was undeniably an abomination," Ed said quite crossly. "I do not think grape cheese is something that belongs in a grilled cheese sandwich."

"So you say," Croix frowned. "But grape cheese is all the rage nowadays. Fruit based cheeses are all the rage right now on Sea-Island 6."

Crickets. It was dead silent as the foreigners stared wide eyed and appalled at the Sea-Island 6 native. Croix chuckled nervously.

"I'm guessing that you fellas aren't a big fan of cheese?"

"You could not be more mistaken, good sir," replied Ed. "It is not that we are not fans of cheese, it is rather we are not fans of that which simply does not deserve to exist."

"What's wrong with grape cheese?"

"Well for starters it tastes like neither grape nor cheese. Second of all, who in their right mind would dare disrespect the sacred art of making a grilled cheese sandwich by using anything but the finest cheddar or munster or provolone or fontina cheese? Pure blasphemy I say! The only reason I do not criticize you for your use of tuna cheese is because that cheese is a most difficult one to come by."

"I'm sorry, but besides tuna cheese, I've never heard of those in my life."

The shock Polly had seen on Ed's face when Croix proudly declared he used grape cheese in his sandwiches was nothing compared to the look of pure disbelief on the kiwi's face at the moment. With her wings to her face, her eyes bulging wide, and her beak making a perfect circle, the bird was oddly resemblant of an Expressionist painting done by the Norwegian artist Edvard Munch in 1893. If she were on a bridge with a sunset-lit background, she could have been a carbon copy of it.

"H...how can this be?"

"Tell me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say you're from Sea Island 4?"

"That's about right, good sir."

"Well then that's probably why. Before it got closed off for some strange reason, Sea Island 4 was where all the to-be-chefs went, and so I'm pretty sure they had all sorts of ingredients there. Here on Sea-Island 6 we only have what King Rightbread likes because he's in charge of what's imported."

"That is most unfortunate," Ed replied. "At least your king has the good sense to appreciate tuna cheese, though I cannot see what possible appeal he could be finding in grape cheese, or any fruit flavored cheese really."

"I think it's an acquired taste."

"That would have to be it. I can't think of any other explanation."

As the two sandwich makers discussed their craft, Polly was suddenly reminded of an extremely pressing issue.

"Croix, do you know anywhere we could stay for three weeks, or at least for a night? I think I already mentioned that we kinda don't have any money, so do you know any motels or something like that where we could do work for our stay or something?" she asked.

"Hmm, that's a pretty tall order you've got for me there," replied Croix.

"Or do you know a place that does currency exchanges?" asked Polly, hoping that would be an easier question to answer.

"I don't think there are any in this district. You'd probably have to go to The Capital for that."

"The Capital?"

"Yeah, that's where King Rightbread and all the other big wigs are. Most people who do business here come with our currency, but fellas like you who are visiting for the first time tend to head straight for The Capital. It's where you can check out all the cool events and the latest imports. I've been there once or twice myself, actually."

"How far is The Capital from here? Do you think we could make it if we leave now?"

It was nearing evening, and the sky had gone from a brilliant blue to a hazy purple. Unless The Capital was right around the corner, Polly knew that dream as she might, there'd be no getting there today. She could only hope there weren't any laws against people sleeping on the street, because she had a feeling that's what she'd be, unfortunately, resorting to.

"Sure, depends on how fast you walk though."

"Wait, what?"

"The Capital's right around the corner."

"Well paint me green and call me a pickle, I'd never," remarked Polly, pleasantly surprised and unbelievably relieved. "You don't mind if we come back tomorrow to help you with advertising and all that, do you? I think I'll try to get to The Capital and switch out my money so that the birds and I can find a room to hole up in."

"As long as you keep your end of the deal. Would coming back around noon tomorrow work? "

"Sounds jolly good to me." Polly rose from her seat and stretched out a hand for shaking. "Thanks for the meal and all the help by the way. Much obliged."

Croix took it and shook it. "The pleasure's all mine."

And without further ado, Polly and her pals were once again headed out, but this time with a full stomach and a bounce in their step.

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Wow having chapters saved and ready to upload is kinda wild. Like I almost feel like I should just *not post them* bc usually I only post once every few months LOL. Anyways 500+ reads and 100+ votes in the same week aAA never thought I'd see the day. Eternally thankful to you all ^u^ and huge, hUGE thanks to everyone who's uH still sticking around ^u^

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*the lenny faces suggest you click that spicy spicy vote button and leave a comment!!