Tales of a Peculiar Pirate

12. Funky Fish and Fighting

Even with her limited understanding of genetics, Polly was aware that fish of the same species would have their differences. However the fish before her might as well have been a zucchini, given how different they looked from the other two royal grammas.

Rather than the simple, ordinary, normal, natural, average, conventional, commonplace, standard, generic, expected, typical, run-of-the-mill, routine yellow in the front purple in the back or purple in the front yellow in the back pattern that the hostage and Evangeline respectively sported, this fish's scales were purple on the top and yellow on the bottom, with the violet color reaching down to their pectoral fins.

It gave Polly the impression that the fish had seen a coat they thought looked cool and were taking a stab at imitating it. To add to the oddity of the fish's appearance, on its forehead was a plus sign that sent shivers through Polly's spine. She hated math with a passion. How had Evangeline even recognized them as part of her clan?

"That bizarre being is asking for the release of the hostage," Fethar informed Polly. "And now Evangeline is declaring in quite the enraged tone that she's the one making the calls here. I'd expect nothing less from her given all that she's gone through. She's now demanding that the evildoer explain their actions."

"I didn't expect her to be willing to listen to them," remarked Polly. "I thought it'd be something like a one and done, you know, like she'd beat them then beat it."

"As did I," replied Fethar.

"I wonder why they killed her clan," wondered Polly. "Do you think they were working alone?"

"No, it's unlikely," answered Fethar. "An operation of that scale, why I'd say it'd need a group of three to come up with it at the very least. In fact, I'd wager that the one before us was the one who executed the plan but not the one who came up with it. Any good mastermind would be lurking in the shadows right now watching their plans unfold."

Polly leaned down to get a better look at the fish and decided that Fethar had to be right. There was no way a fish that looked like that would be the brains of the group.

"If what you're saying is right on, then where would the other cult leaders be? If they're in hiding it sure can't be anywhere nearby because there's about as many corners for 'em to tuck themselves into in these waters as there are in the empty hole that's my stomach right now."

Polly pictured Fethar's nonexistent hands stroking their nonexistent gray, floor-length beard.

"I suppose they must trust that this odd-looking fellow will do his duty to the degree that they figured even if they hid somewhere far off, it would still be smooth sailing."

"That's possible," nodded Polly, making sure her ponytail bobbed for emphasis. "So has that shoddily styled sinner confessed to their crimes yet or nah?"

"While I'm most flattered that you think I can carry a conversation with you and translate a conversation at the same time, I apologize to inform you that I am not quite at that level yet. I might be one day, but sad as it may be for you and for me, today is not that day."

"Uh oh spaghettios," said Polly. "It'd be real sad man hours if we missed any of the good stuff."

One of Fethar's nonexistent hands moved to shush Polly, or at least that was what Polly figured was going on. It's what she would have done had she been in Fethar's place. Taking the hint, or the hint she assumed she was being given, Polly decided to lock her lips, toss the key, and let Fethar do their thing.

"It appears we did not miss much," reported Fethar after a few moments. "The tacky transgressor is a mad lad who goes by Qwertyuiop, and as I figured, he was the one sent to carry out the deplorable deed. From what I have gathered, he refuses to elaborate on the motives behind the group's plan until the hostage, who appears to have nothing at all to do with the situation, is released."