ADORE ↠ b. barnes [III]

sixteen

       "THAT CAN'T BE TRUE." NADENKA'S voice echoed in the compound. "No." She mumbled, her blue eyes filling with tears as she watched Steve, Allura, Natasha, Pietro and Carol. "No."

       Allura wiped the tears as quickly as they fell, her eyes stone cold as she looked anywhere but at her daughter.

       She knew of her own guilt. The guilt of knowing that she had been powerful for so many years, until she had to be. Of possessing the abilities she had, the strength she once had fueled by her love for her family and her friends.

       She knew that she could've fought more, that perhaps if she had tried just a little harder everything would've changed. It they had been a little stronger.

       But Nadenka's guilt was different. It was the guilt of knowing that she was one of the stones— if Thanos hadn't gotten to her, if only she had been able to fight against him, they wouldn't be standing like this right now. They would be celebrating their victory, the Barnes-Ljós family reunited at last with no other concern but catching up and holding each other as if it were their last day of life.

       But it was their last day of life.

       James was gone and his departure had left the Barnes-Ljós family in pieces. Ezekyel was gone and he had left the Ljós family, Steve, Natasha and as much as he didn't want to admit it, Tony in pieces.

       They were gone and they couldn't be brought back.

       "B-But, pabbi. Frændi Ezekyel, Uncle Sam-"

       "They're gone." Steve whispered, his blue eyes focused on the ground as the redhead in front of them processed the information. A tear fell from her eye, and that was one of the very first times in her short but long life that Nadenka cried.

       Her hands went to her hair as she closed her eyes and shook her head, the monitors around her bed going crazy as the younger girl struggled to breath.

        "Nad, calm down."

        "CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?" She screamed, her blue eyes locking with Allura's and causing her to flinch. "Mamma you can't even look at me." She whispered, knowing the reason behind her mother's actions. "I-I couldn't- This is all my fault." She mumbled, Steve shaking his head and approaching her.

        "Nad, this isn't your fault. This isn't our fault." He repeated. He may have been trying to reassure her, but Allura could see in his eyes that he was trying to convince himself. He was trying to convince himself that it wasn't their fault, that they had fought with every bone in their body.

        And they had.

        But it had all fallen apart.

        "This is all my fault."

        "No it's not." Allura spoke, sitting in front of the bed and looking directly into Nadenka's eyes as she held her hands. It took a lot in Allura to not remember James as she did, her heartbroken expression being similar to that day in Romania, when they had been eager to go to Siberia but needed to make a plan. She could spot the same frustration and fear in her eyes.

       But for the moment, she needed to make sure her daughter was safe. So, she pushed James into the back of her mind as mother and daughter just locked eyes, finding a comfort that words could never grant them, a security that was taken for granted before.

        "It wasn't your fault." And carefully, Allura held Nadenka to her as she cried, the younger girl's body wracking with sobs in her mother's arms. It was something that she never had before, and it was tragic that the circumstances in which she did where these.