Fortress Island Series 1 Alejandro: Love Just Ain't Enough (BOOK TWO)

NINE

Go Slow

Alejandro's POV

"Why did you do that? Alam mo bang pinag-alala mo kaming lahat?" Karina was pacing back and forth in front of me. Salubong ang mga kilay nito kasabay ng pagtaas-baba ng kanyang balikat. She is so mad. My fault. Kadarating lang din nito galing America. She has no choice but to follow my trail. Hindi dahil inutusan ito ni Mama kundi alam kong nag-aalala ito sa kalagayan ko.

"I'm sorry. But you really didn't have to follow me wherever I go. I'm a lot better now."

"I'm the only person who can tell if you are getting better or not, Alejandro! You are my patient, and I knew you better than anyone else!"

Bumuntong-hininga ako as I am gearing myself up for a long-ass litany from hers.

"Please understand that we're just worried about you. Just the other week you..." She didn't finish her sentence. Tumamlay ang mga mata nito na nakatingin sa akin.

Sumandal ako sa kitchen counter. My hands on both sides, gripping the edge. "About what I did the other week.... I'm sorry...."

She shook her head at lumapit sa akin. She cupped my face as she glanced up at me. "Ako dapat ang humingi ng paumanhin. I was quite busy that I wasn't able to answer your calls. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nag-alala nang tumawag si Jayden at sinabing naospital ka na naman and that you..." She looked down and softly massaged my wrist. Her lips quivered. "You are more than a friend, Ale. You are like a younger brother to me. You have to be strong. Malayo na ang narating mo."

I swallowed. "I still don't know how to fight it. May mga pagkakataong pakiramdam ko'y baliw na ako, Karina."

"That's not true. You're getting there, you know. It may be a slow progress but at least, you're improving. Malaking bagay na nahanap mo rin ang lakas na loob na harapin siya. You are getting better because of her, Ale."

This time I smiled. "Yeah. I love her. But I hurt her."

"You love her and that makes her something. But please, don't think of her as your everything."

"Carina, we've been talking about this for years now and you still don't get it. I love her with every piece of me. I am here, breathing, because of her."

"Yeah? Kaya pala nung nakaraang linggo you wanted to end—" She shook her head in dismay. "Don't get me wrong. I didn't mean that you should stop loving her. What I am trying to say is that focus on yourself first. Kung gusto mong makuha siya ulit, you have to be whole again, Ale. Don't make an excuse na kesyo miserable ka ngayon ay dahil hindi ka niya kayang tanggapin ulit. No, it's not like that. The problem is you don't have the will to live your life. Hindi hawak ni Bea ang buhay mo. It's on you, Ale. You have to deal with your pain. If Bea was the one who healed you before, iaasa mo pa rin ba sa kanya ang ngayon?"

I gritted my teeth. "I hate you. I didn't let you come into my house just for us to have another therapy talk."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. But in the midst of darkness, there's always a silver lining, yeah? I may not agree about what you did in the past, kahit pa sabihin na reasonable at para din sa ikakabuti niya ang pag-iwan mong iyon, but you know what's more important? You learned from it. Please know that you are a strong person, and we are so proud of you. Kaya please, Ale. Choose life. With or without Bea, choose life."

Tumango ako and ducked my head. I couldn't look at her. Alam niyang ang pagtango kong iyon ay kabaligtaran ng nais kong mangyari kung sakali man.

"When will I meet your love of your life?" She cocked her brow, a teasing smile appeared on her lips.