Fake smile

Chapter Seven

(Literally one of my favourite images, it will never get old lmao)

(Also, trigger warning: self-harm is shown as well as discussed, if this makes you uncomfortable then please skip over, a summary will be written underneath for those who wish to skip. Just before the actions, this !!! will be seen at the start and the end)

Aizawa's POV

As I said last night, I stayed at home to look after the problem child. Of course I forgot about that small fact and woke up in a state of panic thinking I was late for school. I wasted all my energy in a span of five minutes. No healthy amount of coffee was going to keep me awake. Then again, when did I ever have a healthy amount of coffee?
I spent the rest of the morning staring at my ceiling, thinking about that one question before coming to the conclusion that the answer would have to be before he knew the existence of the holy drink. 
Having found an answer, I rolled out of bed. Literally. I fell on the ground and cursed my still asleep brain for not remembering that this had happened last time. 
Slowly - so very slowly - I sat up and went through my morning routine, hoping that it would wake me up somewhat.
It didn't.
If anything, it made me want to go back to sleep. Silently crying to myself, I walked out of my bedroom and headed towards the room Midoriya was now accommodating. I knocked on the door first before opening it ever so slightly.
The curtains were still closed, the sunlight only slightly peeking through and barely illuminated the little room.
I opened the door wider to get a better look and saw the problem child wasn't in his bed, but there wasn't anyone downstairs either. It looked as through no one had been in this room aside from the overturned yellow bag in the corner. I saw that the door to the joined bathroom opened ever so slightly. I made my way up to the door when I heard sobbing coming from the other side. My eyes widened with shock as to what I saw.

!!!

It was Midoriya.
Sitting in the tiled bathroom floor.
A razor in his hand.
And blood dripping from countless cuts along his forearm.
Blood pooled onto the ground where the boy sat and I was too frozen to do anything.
It wasn't until I saw that he was moving to make another cut that I sprang forward and held the wrist that was about to make the cut. I gently took the razor out of his hand and through it behind me, making a mental note to discard of it properly after I had dealt with this. 

!!!

The boy seemed to be taken out of his trance and finally processed my presence. His eyes were filled with more tears and he lurched towards me, arms wrapping around my waist, his face buried into my chest as his body shook with the full force of his sobs. I silently sat there and returned the hug, stroking his hair and mumbling some words of comfort.
The sobs eventually reduced to a few sniffles before Midoriya pulled himself away and, as if he was in another trance, walked back into his room and rummaged through his bag for bandages to wrap his arm with such familiarity that it hurts my heart.
How many times has he done this?, I think to myself, still sitting on the cold tiled floor.
I slowly stood and carefully approached him incase I scared him. He just remained on the ground, staring into space. He didn't even register me speaking to him, as if he had already forgotten that I was in the room. I knelt down in front of him, leaving a small gap in between us so not to make him feel physically pressured and confined. 
"Midoriya." I said gently. 
No response.
"Midoriya." I tried again.
No sound. No movement.
"Midoriya, please. Look at me." Worry and desperation lacing my words.
His head slowly tilted up towards me, his eyes brimming with unshed tears wanting to be released. 
And so they did.
He started crying again, seeming to try and suppress the sobs. I closed the distance between us and held onto his small shaking frame. I wanted to make it stop, but I didn't know what else I could do.
He soon stopped and was wiping the tears with the back of his hand. I slowly pulled him up from his place on the floor and lead him downstairs before guiding him towards one of the stalls that were set around the kitchen island. Once he was seated, I moved towards the coffee machine. There was a sticky-note attached that read:
'Look in the microwave'
Confused, I made my way to the microwave and found a plate of pancakes wrapped in cling film with another sticky-note that, this time, read:
'I made these for you and Midoriya so that you wouldn't need to burn down the kitchen or make the poor kid have instant noodles and coffee for breakfast. See you after school xxx'
I chuckled slightly at the note before putting it in my pocket. I kept a folder in my room that was full of sticky-notes just like the one I read that had different messages on them. Mic knows how much I love them so he writes little messages whenever the opportunity presents itself. I keep the ones that I like the most. 
I take the pancakes out of the microwave - somehow they were still warm - and placed two on a separate plate for myself, putting the rest in front of Midoriya. I turned towards the fridge and took out the syrup, whipped cream and some berries that we had left. I also went to get the cutlery. Once back at the island, I saw that Midoriya hadn't moved at all since he sat down. His eyes were glued onto a singular spot on the table as if it was the most interesting thing that needed his full attention. I reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He blinked and looked up at me.
"Eat your breakfast. Hizashi made them specially for us. It would be a waste if it wasn't eaten."
"Why?" he asked.
I was taken aback by the question. Was there something I said that would have caused confusion? I don't think so.
"Why did you stop me?" he finished.
I let out a breath, understanding what he was asking of me. "Look kid, I don't know what you're going through or what has happened before, but I'll be damned if I just stood by while I watch someone hurting themselves the way you were. I can't say that I know how you feel because that would be impossible, but-" I stopped as I rolled up one of my sleeves, revealing white lines running up and down my forearm, causing the greenette to gasp in surprise and shock, "I've been through similar thoughts and feelings to be able to imagine quite vividly what you possibly may be feeling." I roll my sleeve back down. "You feel hopeless, like nothing you do amounts to anything. You feel alone, scared. You want nothing more than for the pain to stop. For the thoughts to stop. But listen to me, take it from someone who's been through it, it doesn't solve anything. Hurting yourself, even trying to end it, it hurts so much more. You need to hold on because once you've overcome everything, you'll feel so much stronger." I didn't realise I was crying until I heard the sound of my tears falling onto the table.
"B-but i-it's so hard and-and I c-can't-" 
I was by his side much faster than I thought was possible. I gently placed both my hands next to his face and lifted it to meet my eyes. "Izuku, from the past week alone I can tell that you are the smartest and most caring person in all of 1A, not to mention that you have such a powerful quirk and so much determination and drive to become a hero that I know will help you achieve amazing things in the future. I know it seems hard, but remember that you are no longer alone. You have me, Hizashi and Hitoshi by your side. Hell, I think even Todoroki is starting to break out of his shell around you." We both let out a chuckle at that. "Point being, we don't know what is going to happen later on, but we will take it as it comes. Don't be scared and think you have to do everything on your own because you don't. I will always help you."
Now we were both crying and holding onto each other. I'm somewhat surprised that the house wasn't flooded due to how many tears were spilt in this one morning. 
We both calmed down after a bit and finished our breakfast, having a few conversations here and there about random topics. We were both startled when the phone rang. Midoriya got up and started cleaning the plates while I went to answer the phone.

(Aizawa) (Police Officer)

"Esaserhead speaking," I said into the phone.
"Hello Eraserhead. I'm officer Smith (*I couldn't think of another name lol*) and I am calling to talk to you about the girl that was recently rescued from the Shie Hassaikai. Eri Chisaki, if I am not wrong. She currently has no family that she can stay with. In cases like this, the child would go into the foster care system, however due to her being unable to control her quirk that would be unwise so the captain decided it would be best if she were to live with a pro instead."
"I see. That would be the best decision, but why are you calling me about that."
Surely they would have a pro in mind. Why would they waste their time filling me in? I couldn't say that I wasn't curious about what would happen, but it's just such a random time to call about this. 
"Ah yes about that. We had decided that it would be best to ask her if there was anyone she would prefer to be with to make sure that she would be comfortable with the transition. She mentioned you as you were one of the few that she had seen during the fight. After some consideration, we decided that it would be the best solution as your quirk would help keep hers under control were she to lose control. I am calling to ask whether or not you would be ok with this."
I paused for a moment. Then two. I already had two other kids to look after as well as Midoriya, and then I also had to balance teaching and hero work. Not to mention that I was already sleep deprived and this would keep me up even more-
"Sure, not a problem." I replied. 
"Great. She will be discharged from the hospital today. I'll make sure to notify the staff that you'll be picking her up."
"Not a problem. Oh also-" I quickly looked behind me to see if Midoriya was close by. I saw him sitting on the sofa staring at the wall. Making sure that he couldn't hear me, I asked the police officer, "can you give my any information about the parents of Izuku Midoriya? Something had come up at school and no-one's been able to contact them."
"One moment..." 
I heard a lot of typing on the other line before it stopped. There was a silent pause.
"I'm sorry to inform you, but they are both dead."

Summary if people skipped over '!!!' section:
Essentially, our little cinnamon roll was hurting himself to a point that was really damaging and could've easily hurt him had Aizawa not stepped in.

As you can tell, I am taking bits and pieces from the show and putting them in at a random order as well as changing things from the actual anime (obviously). This is because I wanted Eri to also be within the story so that she can help Izuku as well and Hitoshi and Izuku would be able to go protective brother mode over Eri. 

Just wanted to say that if anyone reading has mental health issues like depression or anxiety and have resulted in self-harming, I want to remind you that you are not alone. There are people around that will help you, organisations put in place that will help you battle any demons that you face. I am saying this because I've been in the same situation and am currently getting the therapy needed to help. I'm not going to sit here and say to get over it because I know how hard it is. Look after yourself in the new year and make the most of your life. If it will help, drop me a message or text me on Twitter at snowycrystal_. I'm always available to talk so just send me a message if you want to and I'll promise that I'll try my best to help in any way I can (so long as it's legal lol).

Anyway, have an amazing 2021 and I'll see you in the next chapter.

Byee xxx