stigma | minsung

91

"what exactly happened?" jisung questioned, hoping he wasn't overstepping.

"what happened?" minho repeated jisung's words, "i wish there was another way to answer it other than the one i'm about to give you because i don't think you'll like it very much."

"what is it?" jisung asked nervously.

"i fell in love for the first time." minho responded, his eyes not looking up, but instead focusing on his hands which were resting in his lap.

"and why wouldn't i like that?" jisung asked, feeling a bit unsure.

"because... i know i want to be your first love." minho shrugged.

"i'd much rather be your last than your first," jisung smiled as he cupped minho's face to force him to look him in the eyes, "now tell me about him. i want to hear all about it."

"are you sure?" minho questioned with uncertainty. 

"i wouldn't tell you to do it if i wasn't sure." jisung assured the boy.

"okay," minho let out a heavy sigh, "we were close friends all through our childhood. neither of us suspecting the other of being gay in the slightest really. we always talked about girls and gave each other advice, it was a normal friendship."

"how did it change into love then?" jisung asked, completely invested in minho's story.

"it started when we were sixteen. changmin had been dating this girl for almost a year, and she had been cheating on him practically the entire time because he didn't want to have sex with her just yet.

i always suspected that changmin didn't really like her, but he was so devastated when he found out she was cheating on him i thought he must've really care about her. it wasn't until later on that i found out he really wasn't into her, but he was hurt that she could cheat on him for so long.

anyway, i had helped him through the entire breakup practically. day in and day out i was there for him. we got even closer than we already were which honestly if you knew us it would've seemed unimaginable. we were always incredibly close, but now we became inseparable.

at first our parents were pretty supportive of it, they didn't really suspect anything. then him and i started having more sleepovers, we started sneaking out to see each other... and just more little pointless things that we did that we never had before.

i remember one day he asked me to sneak out at like three in the morning since he had something on his mind and he really couldn't sleep because of it.

i ended up sneaking out, meeting him at this baseball field dugout that we always hung out at late at night. when i got there, he was pacing and seemed like a nervous wreck.

i grabbed onto his shoulders and shook him a bit, and i asked him what was wrong. he just froze and stared at me, so i asked him what was on his mind.

it felt surreal, he just said 'you' and then leaned in and kissed me. we never spoke about it, we never even really became official, it was just from then on we'd kiss all the time... and do other things... i said i love you to him first, and it actually happened on accident.

we were messing around doing god knows what, i can't even remember now, but he yelled that he hated me, and i said, 'that's a shame because i love you.' his face was priceless." minho laughed a bit, and jisung watched in awe of minho, but with slight jealousy. he saw how happy minho was when speaking about changmin, and he only wished he could make minho that happy.

"how did it end?" jisung asked, his voice was soft, and sounded a little sad.

"oh... right... how it ended..." minho paused at the question, biting his lip as he was deep in thought.

"you don't have to go into detail about that if you don't want to." jisung spoke as he gently placed his hand on minho's thigh.

minho placed his hand on top of jisung's and gave it a slight squeeze, "there's nothing i don't want to tell you. i feel safe with you."

"g-good, i'm glad." jisung smiled shyly.

"so, the way it ended," minho started, "one day i thought my parents would be gone all day so i invited changmin over to my house. we hung out in my room the same way we always did when we hung out, but we had no reason to act cautiously since we were the only two there, plus mr. kim, but i think he knew from the start.

anyway, we we're stupid and didn't hear my front door open. we were just kissing in my room, wrapped up in our own little world when my father walked in on us.

he started hitting me, he was so relentless with it. i can still vividly remember changmin's screams when trying to get my father to stop, but it was no use.

i told changmin to get out, repeatedly. eventually he did. after that i never saw him again, and mr. kim was nice enough to tell me why..."

"why didn't you see him again?"

"my father threatened to send me to conversion therapy. i knew he was threatening that, he told me he was going to send me away. yet he never did, and mr. kim told me that was because my father promised changmin that if he stayed away from me, then i wouldn't be sent to conversion therapy. sweet isn't it?"

"minho," jisung frowned as he looked over at the boy, "i'm really sorry..."

"don't be. it's over now." minho said as he gently pushed jisung's bangs out of his eyes so he could clearly see the boy.

"but you never really got closure with changmin, do you still love him?"

"i don't need closure with him. he was my first love, but majority of first love's are just lesson's to be learned. your last love is the one that really matters, and i plan on you being my last." minho said sweetly as his eyes fluttered shut and his lips met with jisung's.

"but your my first... does this mean your going to be a lesson for me? how can you be my last?" jisung asked nervously.

"you can still learn from me, but that doesn't mean it has to be a lesson learned after a break up. i won't let you go, i already told you this." minho reassured the latter.

"okay... but... pinky promise you're never leaving me again, no matter what! i don't care what anyone says, i don't care what the threat is... we can work it out together." jisung said adamantly as he held up his pinky.

minho smirked as he lifted up his pinky too and wrapped it around jisung's, "i pinky promise. whatever obstacles are thrown our way, we will get passed them together."

a.n.

this chapter was so easy for me to write idk why

that literally took no effort at all

i looked up at one point and all of a sudden i had 800 words written and i was like HUH???

but now we got like 1100 so... yayyy idk