Unearthly Earth

Silence

                             

 *Four months later*

My mother once told me that I had to be who I wanted to be, and to never let anyone control that. Over the course of the last year I had learned so much from losing the things that made me stable.

 I decided not to leave my parents behind, and transferred my college documents and information down to the nearest school which was a few blocks away. Instead of starting school right away I was going to start later on in the year. I wasn’t taking life as a joke anymore, and I started to see a therapist named Oakleigh.

Oakleigh was so helpful with everything I was going through. She told me that she had became a therapist after her mother hung herself when she was 19, and how she would never get the image out of her head.

I persisted to tell her about how I lost my very best friend, my sister Heidi.  I also told her about Davin, my body guard, my cheesy happy-go-lucky brother. She asked me about what had happened and through gritted teeth I told her about my mother sending Heidi off to Sierra Hills, the only ward in a 6 hour distance. She hugged me as I began to cry, and told me to sit back.

“As much as you want, Tabitha, you can’t blame your mom for trying to help her.” She spoke, crossing her legs.

“But-” I began to speak and she hushed me quietly.

“I know it’s hard. It’s the worst thing in the world to lose someone. When I lost my mom, I blamed my dad. He had left her a few months before. Now, two years later, I’m at ease. I don’t blame my dad anymore. He left her because he wasn’t happy with her and I look at it now like - Him leaving her was a hell of a lot better than lying to her.” She sighed, reminiscing about the past.

As I sat in thought, she looked over at me.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“The day that Heidi died, I was so mad at my mom. For months I’ve been holding back on apologizing to her, because I do realize that it wasn’t her fault. At the time I felt the need to blame someone, but now I blame myself. I should have been there, I should have been there.” I put my head in my hands.

“Tabitha, when someones time is up, it’s up. Blaming yourself will never help you, It will never get you through the hurt.”

I sighed.

“Now, what about Davin, your brother?”

“I-I can’t talk about it. I just cant.” I spoke, shakily.

She closed her notebook.

“Maybe next time, then?” She smiled.

“Maybe..”

Two Days Later    -

Looking in the mirror, I fluffed my hair gently pushing my long curls off my shoulder. I quickly headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and on the mirror just in front of where I was standing the words "Tabitha?" were barely visible, almost not even there.

The mirror was absolutely clean. No way. My expression went blank in horror. I rubbed my eyes as I backed away tripping over the blue nylon rug, falling back and knocking my head on the toilet. My whole world became black.

I woke up to my mom standing over me crying.

“What’s wrong? I asked

 “Keep your head down, please.” She begged

 Simultaneously I started feeling my head and felt the warm sticky mess that was matted in my hair. Bringing my hand around I stared at it terrified when I seen that blood was covering my hand.

No more then a minute after that I heard the sirens of the ambulance, and to that my world once again vanished.
                                               

******

It was weird at first but I knew who it was. In the blackness, an angel came out. She was dark headed and beautiful. "Heidi." I said in a sing-song voice. She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes.

“Tabby, I’ve been trying for a very long time to get ahold of you.”

 To the left of me Davin appeared, smiling.

“Hey big sis, how’s everything goin’.”  I felt confused, overwhelmed, and happy at the same time.

“What’s Heaven like?” was the first thing I could ask. I had so much to tell them, so much to ask them.

“Heaven is..”

 Before I could get what was going to be said, they disappeared and I was left once again in the piercing silence of my mind.