Why?
Why did she have to do this to me?
Why is this world so cruel?
I sat on a chair that just sat on the side of camp. I cupped my cheeks in my hands, and stared at the ground. Jaylynn's screams echoed in my head. When I left the room, I really just stayed just outside. It took every sane thought to keep myself from running in and probably messing up something when I heard things slowly go downhill.
"Hey. Mr. New guy." A voice sneered at me, and before I could look up, I was on my hands and knees, glaring up at a friend of Jaylynn's. I think his name is Dash.
I stood up, and brushed myself off, but Dash pushed me from the shoulders, and I glared at him firecely.
"Why did she try to kill herself?!" He shouted angrily at me. I spat at his shoe before I turned away.
I didn't say a word. I'm not a fan with speaking as it is. Let alone, in a fight.
"Hey smart guy! Respond when somebody speaks to you!" He growled and jumped in front of me. Looking battle ready.
I could feel a fire in my stomach, but I ignored it and him, and kept my cool and continued to walk past him.
"Dash, just stop please!" A voice begged, and I recongnized it as another one of Jaylynn's friends.
I curled my lip slightly, and walked faster.
"He has to explain to me why Jaylynn is being a suicidal!"
I don't have to explain anything to you.
I bit my tongue, and walked out of camp. But a hand rested on my shoulder before I could every relax, and I looked to see Fiona stood there.
"Please.. Just be there for Jaylynn at least." She pleaded. I felt my muscles relax, and realized I had my jaw clenched. Fiona looked exhausted, and I could only imagine the dreams she has at night.
I sighed, and slumped a little.
"I can't do this Fiona.." I whispered.
"Yes you can, you've done this for days now."
"Why am I even staying here? I've never done this before.. But I just can't walk away this time." I kneeded at my temple with my thumb, and closed my eyes.
"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" She asked quietly. I looked over at her, and felt my suspicion rise quickly.
"Please Luke. Just stop building walls around you. Everyone would feel a lot more comfortable if you just let us be your friend." Fiona explained.
I let out a harsh laugh, and leaned back.
"But why should I? Everytime I do that, I just have more of a reason to close myself off after." I exclaimed to her. She shook her head, and sighed.
"I know it's hard to trust some people in this world, Luke. But not everyone is out for your throat." She told me, and sat down, and stared at me expectantly.
I sighed, and sat down in front of her, and crossed my leg.
"Fine. My last friend was a girl the same age as me. Her name was Kimberly. She was the nicest person I ever met. After my parents abaonded-" Fiona cut me off by holding up a hand.
"Hold it. Start from there. When your parents abandoned you. Why did they?"
I glared shortly, before I dug into my memories once again.
"I was four years old when I got exposed to radiation. A couple kids always liked to bully me because I was smaller than them. Then one day, they decided to go so far to dare me to pull off my gas mask and hold my breath for as long as I could. Of course, me with my big child ego, I did it. But I was keeping my eyes closed at first. But when I opened them.. Everything just went blurry and strange. It was like waves of nausea just crashed into me.. I could faintly hear some screaming. But it didn't feel real. I was just transfixed on the weird feelings I was having.. But suddenly, my mother ran to me, and practically squashed my face with the force she used on the gas mask. She was crying and screaming. Trust me, I'll never forget her expression. My dad came over, and he was just as horrifyde. I didn't understand that moment. But when I went home and looked at a mirror. I could see my own eyes glowing through the dark lenses on my mask.. The next day, some strange people came along and tried to take me away from my parents. I didn't trust them at all though. So I ran. I never saw my parents since then. And I'm not sure if I really want to.. I think they were the ones that called those people to take my away. Anyway, while I was running, I realized I had no food, no water, and there were mutants. So I found a small shack, and took shelter in it. But I didn't realize that a family was living it, until after I got a gun pointed at my head."
I chuckled softly at the memory.
"Kimberly was the one holding the gun. Although she could barely aim, she was always the one wanting to be the boss. But we both showed that we really didn't want to hurt each other, and so we both stayed together. We eventually found myself a shot gun from a dead body. We stuck together for months.. Until Mutants found our home, and attacked us. Kimberly wasn't that good at shooting and got dragged away by mutants.. I chased after them and was hot on their trail. But I was too late. When I found Kimberly, her skin was a pale green, and her eyes were dead."
I shuddered at the memory, and let it fade away.
Fiona watched me the entire time. Her gaze unwavering.
"So.. I just stuck away from people since then. If only I had been a little faster to get Kimberly to safety.. Maybe she'd still be here with me today.." I whispered, and my fingers began to shake with the urge to strangle myself.
I felt sudden pain burn into my cheek. I took a moment to realize what just happened.
Fiona just slapped me.
She stood over me, panting heavily and glaring.
"Is this what happens everytime somebody dies? You blame it on yourself?!" She shouted surprisingly loudly. I could only blink at her, as I was completely lost for words.
"Luke, you are too strong to lose yourself to that stupid question! Everybody could've done something differently. But would you want it any other way? Right now, if you did save Kimberly, the entire world might've been different, who knows! And who cares? I'm happy! And so should you. We both live among nice people. We sleep under a roof, and eat a breakfast every morning! That should be enough to keep yourself moving!" She explained to me in a rash voice, and whirled around to storm off.
But before she could take a couple steps, I grabbed her wrist.
"Fiona.. I'm sorry. I know it's been difficult since Titan. Please forgive me. I shouldn't be so.." I looked for the word to explain my actions. But I came up blank.
Fiona turned to me, and gave a weak effort of a smile. Her smile faltered though, and she hugged me tightly.
"God knows what would've happened to Jaylynn if you weren't here.." She whispered into my coat, before she ripped herself away, and walked into the city. I left her to be alone. I needed some alone time too.
