A Second Night - N.Beck

10 | safe zone

-l i l a-

I felt Noah's fingers in my hair, playing with it, twirling it as I held up his other hand in the air to compare the sizes between our hands.

His hand was so big compared to mine, I let out a small laugh. "Jeez, that is really big." I say.

"That's what she said." We both say in unison causing a fit of laughter to fill the air.

It felt so nice with Noah. No judging, like I felt with Sean.

I remember the first time I said 'that's what she said' near him and he snorted in disgust. Saying it's a 'turn off' hearing that from a girl.

And I didn't really say it after that. The feeling of being judged by him didn't make me feel safe to be myself.

They say being with the person you love is supposed to be your safe zone. Where you can say/do anything you want without any judgment.

I didn't feel I could with Sean. So I was glad I was away from that.

Being with Noah also felt...free. He laughed at the weirdest things I said and didn't give me that look, saying 'why am I even with you'.

"I think you're the only girl I know that knows what 'that's what she said' even means." He says, twining our fingers together.

"I'm aware of my awesomeness, you don't need to remind me." I say with a short laugh.

My head was on his chest, hearing his faint heart beat. Somehow, this felt better than being with Sean. It felt like a safe zone.

But it was just because there was no commitment. It was just hooking up. He didn't do serious and neither did I, not anymore.

"We have to get up." I say and he groans loudly from behind me. "No, stay here. It feels nice." He says, and I was quick to agree but I still pulled him up.

"Brynn's going to be here soon. Unless you want to be dickless, you should go." I say and he laughs, finally getting up.

He puts on his shirt, taking his keys from the table he placed them on. "You know just because it happened once doesn't mean I'm done with you yet." His voice says as I put on my sweater.

At this point, my breathing had raised and I couldn't find the right words to speak. He came closer and leaned down, placing a slow kiss on my lips.

This was different from before, but felt equally as good. He was just really good at kissing, damn it!

"Bye Lila." He whispers, his lips slowly pressing near my ear as he spoke. With a small smile, he went for the door and closed it on his way out.

In my experience of boys, I hadn't really felt shyness or nervousness around them. But Noah changed that all too quickly.

Even a small whisper from him got me breathing heavy. Something I didn't even get from my boyfriend of 7 years.

That should mean something right? No, it doesn't. I remind myself.

You two are just having fun, I say out loud and head to my table where I kept my laptop.