No one has to know

Chapter 37

Catherine stared at where he had been standing long after he'd disappeared from sight. She was numb. Her mind couldn't comprehend what had just happened. She had never seen him so upset. At least not at her. What made matters worse, is she hadn't even done anything wrong. He said he needed time to think. 'Maybe I should give it to him.' she thought. 'He's just upset. He couldn't have meant it...could he?...But how did Diane get a letter here from Spain so quickly.' It wasn't adding up. But she couldn't think about that right now.

She went back to her room for awhile to give him space. After a couple of hours, she emerged and went looking for him. She went to his room, but he wasn't there. She looked in the stables and the garden and all around the castle but he was nowhere to be found. Finally, she went to see Mary.

"Catherine, if you're here about Kenna, I've spoken with her and she is very aware at my discontent with her." she said. Catherine didn't hear any of it.

"Have you seen Bash anywhere? I can't seem to find him." she asked her expression a bit pained. She was starting to get worried.

"No I haven't. Is everything alright?" she replied.

"I...We had a fight. I...he said he needed to think...He...was so mad." she couldn't believe she was actually saying the words she was saying. Mary could sense something was very wrong.

"A fight? About what?" she asked taking a step forward.

"He...He got a letter from his sister... There were assassins found...at the chateau...They were after Diane. They didn't know she'd gone to Spain...They had a letter with my signature and seal...I...didn't...I swore to him...he...he didn't believe me. He said...He said he made a mistake." she struggled to get the words out. She was shaking, trying not to break down. She was afraid if she let herself get upset over it, it would make it real. Mary put her hand on her shoulder. "You believe me...don't you?"

"I do believe you. I'm sure he's somewhere. You probably just keep missing him. Did you check your room? Maybe he went back there to apologize." she offered. Catherine eased a bit at the small glimmer of hope.

"No. I hadn't thought of that." she said

"Come on then, I'll come with you." Mary said getting the door and holding it open for her. They made their way to Catherine's room, but when they got there the room was empty.

"He's not here." Catherine said deadpan, frozen in her place. Mary's eyes skimmed the room and she noticed a note on her bed.

"Catherine." she said pointing to the bed. Catherine looked at Mary and then let her eyes follow to where she was pointing. She slowly walked over to the bed and looked down at the letter. It had her name scrawled across the front. All of the sudden she couldn't remember how to use her arms.

"I can't...Mary..." she choked out. Mary put her hand on her shoulder for a second and then picked up the letter. She read it silently, but her expression told Catherine enough. She wouldn't believe it until she heard the words.

"He's gone. He's left for Anet. He...he said he can't marry you...if he can't trust you." Mary finished, her hand going to cover her mouth. Catherine's legs suddenly felt like they were made of mud and she she sank slowly to sit on the bed. She started to shake her head.

"No. No. He can't be. He wouldn't..." she couldn't breath. Mary sat next to her and put her hand back on her shoulder.

"I'm sure he'll be back. He's just upset. He must know you wouldn't..." She began but the words stopped making sense. Catherine was struggling to hold back the tears. A single drop fell from Catherine's eye, as the dam holding her emotions started to crumble. He left. He didn't want her anymore. She couldn't bare it anymore. Mary pulled her into a hug and she finally started to cry.