The Varied Path (Akatsuki no Yona Fanfiction)

Chapter 55: Forgiveness

After what seemed like eternity of tearing through the brush so loudly that she was certain the others had heard her, Calista finally found him standing near the waterfall.

"Hey."

Hak jumped at the sound of her voice and she frowned. If he was that rattled that he didn't pick up on her footsteps, then that wasn't a good sign. She took off her shoes, leaving them by the trees as she strutted over to his brooding form.

Dangling her feet off the shallow banks, she dipped her bare feet in the cool water. Patting the empty space beside her, he sat down with a heavy sigh, glaive thudding to the ground as he set it aside somewhat carelessly.

The siblings sat in silence for several long moments before she broke the silence.

"What's bothering you?"

She was only going to ask him once. He knew his limits, if he needed to talk about it then he would. If not, then she would keep an eye on him but not inquire any further.

"You noticed it, haven't you?" He questioned hesitantly.

She leaned back on her hands, staring up at the sky, eyes wandering to the green terrain before them.

"I know that you seem to get increasingly worried about sending me off, if that's what you mean." She cocked her head to the side to look at him. "And that you still haven't forgotten about that, have you?"

He stiffed beside her and her features drooped down sadly as she realized how much it bothered him.

"You have to move past this, Hak." She urged him. "It's always going to hold you back."

She was afraid if he got hung up on it, it would consume him.

His hand raised up to brush against the faint scar on her neck and she met his eyes, the vulnerability in them reflecting back at her.

The wound he had given her that night right before he turned his back on her and fed her to the wolves.

"How can I forgive myself for hurting you?"

The self-loathing in his low confession made her shoulders fall in defeat. He didn't say anything further, and she took that as a cue to respond to his rhetorical question.

"Hak." She said boldly, shuffling in front of him so that she could meet his eyes that were hidden in the shadows of his face. "Hak, look at me."

The sound of her plea made him finally raise his gaze.

There were no tears, only distraught carved on every line of his rugged features. Calista traced the marred flesh on her throat, and swallowed thickly, trying not to stumble over her words. 

"Hak, I forgive you." It came out shakier than she would have liked.

"You shouldn't." He shot back automatically and she caught his wrist as he tried to stand up, preventing him from leaving. She knew where he was going, and she wouldn't allow it. Not with this head space that he was in.

"Don't do that."

Hak refused to look at her, knowing what would happen if he did. "Do what?"

"Don't think that you don't deserve the second chance that is given to everyone." Calista declared.

"I wouldn't give a second chance to that murderer." He snarled.

"I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about you."

He faltered, hesitation overtaking every inch of his body.

"I don't deserve it after what I did to you." He pushed back, hating himself for his past actions. His duties seemed so clear at the time, but he failed to see that the person he should have been watching was wrongfully steering him towards his innocent sister.

"Hak, stop that... I forgive you." Calista broke through his thoughts, having a good clue as to the lies that were floating around in his mind. "It's time you forgive yourself."

"How?" His voice shook with raw emotion.

Calista shook her head slightly, lowering him to the ground, pulling him a hug like she used to when they were kids. Back when she could protect him.

"It'll take time." She echoed from a long time ago, back when they were at Fuuga and he was too caught up in his failure to protect King Il and Yona that he took his anger out on her. Still, she had understood it at the time and let it go.

The immense guilt he felt afterwards was hard enough to see him go through. 

"But it'll be worth it, and you deserve forgiveness."

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and she cradled his head. His eyes closed as a lone tear escaped down his cheek.

Pressing a chaste kiss to his hair, she murmured, "Forgive yourself, because I already have. Forget the past and look towards the future."

They stayed there until the sun set, the sound of the cascading water soothing the ex-general and assassin. The ground had grown damp with mist as an indication of how much time had passed.

She patted his shoulder and he sat up instantly. They both heard it.

"Yona."

With a simple breath of her name, they took off, speeding through the night. The gut-wrenching sobs cut through the woods eerily, and forced Calista into an even faster run.

They arrived just in time to see the princess break down in front of Ik-soo, and Hak gritted his teeth.

Calista held out an arm in front of him, halting him in his tracks, craning her head as she strained to hear them.

"He is not the cause of her agitation." She whispered to him and he relaxed, but only slightly.

Pained sobbing pierced the veil of the night as the princess and her bodyguard struggled with their past mistakes, trying to see past through the thick fog of doubt into the foreseeable future.

Yona was scared what was to come would be just as dark and horrible as that terrible night, and Hak was afraid of being led astray from those he cared about deeper than he would ever admit.

Calista's head knocked against the bark of the tree as she fought to rid her mind of the dark thoughts plaguing it, bringing the promise she had made long ago to keep her grounded.

Remember why you're doing this. Her silver eyes glowed in determination. Remember the reason you let go of your anger towards him was because of them.

By focusing on the new friends she had made and strengthening the bonds of the old ones that had fragmented through life's trials, she vowed to not let Soo-won come between her relationship with her brother and the princess. 

Their friendship was too precious to lose to something like this.

And she was willing to bet that he knew exactly what kind of tension and turmoil he had created with his betrayal. But she was also sure that they could overcome it. That they could survive the tests of faith and trust in order to pursue Yona's goal, no matter what it was.

Did you predict this, Soo-won? She sent to him silently, aware of his intelligence that had shown promise ever since he was a child. If you didn't, get ready. Watch us prove you wrong, that we're stronger together than alone.

A/N: What do you guys want to see for a 5k oneshot when we get there? I have something special in mind for 10k reads if that ever happens but am clueless for the upcoming milestone. Let me know what scenario you guys would like to see in the comments or dm me if that's more comfortable for you!! :D I hope you are all doing well during this troubling time <3