The Varied Path (Akatsuki no Yona Fanfiction)

Chapter 155: Fighting for Each Other

They had masked their feelings below the surface so that they wouldn't catch their friends up in their troubles but it was hard. Never before had they been in this situation. Where their relationship hung in balance.

Each had their regrets and wished that could've turned back time to do things over.

"I'm sorry." Calista whispered pitifully, her hands falling limp in her lap as he stood stiffly across from her, much like on that night where revelations were made and things that should have never been said were spoken. "You're an important person to me, I never meant to imply that you weren't or that how much you mean to me changed, I'm so sorry."

The lavender no longer smelled as sweet, the small flicker of light filling the small space didn't seem as bright and the blue dragon across from her appeared a lot more frail than before.

Shin-ah refused to look at her and Calista honestly could say she didn't blame him. What kind of partner constantly put their significant other through so much? How did she not see how badly she was hurting him earlier?

He had let her fight because he understood it was in her blood, it was a part of who she was, but if she had recognized it, she shouldn't have pushed the limits of what she could do just because she could do it. Just because she could handle it didn't mean that she should expect him to remain okay after seeing how close she came to dying every time.

It was too cruel of her to do that to him.

Calista wrung her hands in her lap, gritting her teeth as she fought to keep the tears at bay. She shouldn't be the one crying when he was the one who was hurting because of her.

I'm such a terrible person.

Every time he had gotten her, she had been overcome with despair each time he rescued her from certain death. She had been putting him through that ever since they got together, probably even longer since even when they were just friends, she couldn't ever stop herself from jumping out in front of the danger.

It was always her in harm's way, if she could get there fast enough.

Shin-ah hadn't said anything and she didn't know what she could do or say to make this better. She didn't want to leave him, she didn't want him to leave either, despite what she had suggested even though it was the logical choice in her head. It would put a strain on their whole group dynamic, worse that it already was this past couple days since it was obvious that their comrades noticed it.

Yoon kindly ignored it, as did Yona when Hak brought the nature of it to her attention. He always had been the most in-tune with his sister, his connection to her only rivaled by Shin-ah's. When he had seen some kind of internal conflict going on, he steered Jae-ha away, warning him not to mess with them right now.

Even Kija, who was notably the most oblivious out of all of them, could tell that something was off between them.

"Shin-ah?" Calista called out timidly, hating how her voice broke.

The warmth from him had long faded since she was no longer pressed flush up against him. She missed him already and he was right in front of her, just out of her reach. If she stretched out her hand, she could reach him.

But she no longer felt she was deserving of that.

He made a quiet noise of affirmation in the back of his throat that let her know that he heard her but other than that, nothing. He seemed so far away now. Distant and lost, like a child whose light had been snuffed out, whose joy had been depleted.

Calista couldn't take it and her eyes downcast, she spoke in between sniffles. "What can I do to make this right?"

What can I do to have you in my life the way it's always been? What can I do so that we can still be together?