STALKER ✔️

🔪 eight

we had been in their for a little over an hour before they finally managed to get us out of the elevator. the air was pretty tense between us, and i didn't even say bye to him. i just left the mall and went straight home.

i wrote down everything chan had said he disliked about jeongin on a post it note, as i always did whenever i studied for something:

- don't smile too much
- don't go to bed too early
- don't be so clingy
- be mature

i knew there was one more thing that he had said annoyed him about jeongin, but i just couldn't remember it. i assumed that it just wasn't important, or was just a really minor thing, so i didn't worry about it too much.

i remember just staring down at the list, promising myself that i would never be any of those things. i would be whatever chan wanted me to be, because i loved him. i wanted to have him for myself, and i would do anything to make that happen.

i bet you're asking why chan was with jeongin in the first place. well, i guess love works in mysterious ways, and i genuinely believe that. how else would you explain chan's and my love story? it was fate. how else could we have both been in that elevator when it broke?

oh come on, i know you're my therapist and all, but i know what i'm talking about.

i'm not crazy.

anyways, i knew what i had to do to get my channie now. i had to bring out the worst in jeongin. i had to make him be everything chan hated. it wouldn't be quick, but it would definitely be fun!

wow, you're such a buzzkill. okay, imagine you have a house built out of lego. you built it like that because that's how the instructions told you to. but what if you wanted to make something else. sure, you would have to unbuild it, maybe get rid of some of it, but you could use blocks from other sets, and you make a magnificent castle. wouldn't that be fun?

that's what i wanted to do to jeongin; i wanted to take away all the things chan loved about him, and build up all the things he hated. and then, i would take those things for myself. chan would love me. he did love me.

but i've not reached that chapter yet.

—
yooo i just realised i haven't
really been writing at home
much and i mostly just write
on my breaks at work :)