Together, Always || An After Mockingjay Everlark Fanfiction

Chapter 17

As the days go by Peeta and I get closer and closer. I didn't realise how much I missed him while he was in the Capitol. His humour, his crystal blue eyes, his amazing cooking, his comfort, and, well, his lips. It's only now that I have him back in my life again that I have realised how much I missed these little things.

Today I am helping Peeta move in to my house. After realising that we spend almost all day everyday together we both agreed on moving in together.

We walk out of my house and step out into the chilling air. It's mid Winter now. I rarely go hunting in the winter anymore as it can get so cold. I imagine the lake, frozen over and the trees, stripped bare from their leaves and covered in snow. I long for the weather to get warmer again so I can hunt. The forest serves as a distraction from the torture that nightmares and flashbacks induce upon me. Hunting has been out of the question for at least a month but in the meantime Peeta has become my distraction.

He unlocks the door and wipes the snow from his boots before holding the door open for me. All houses in the Victors Village are structured the same with the rooms and furniture but Peetas house feels so different to mine. He actually takes care of his house. All of his coats and shoes are hung and laid out next to the door. The mahogany floorboards are spotless. Peeta seems to have added his own touch into every room. A green throw rug on a couch, a bowl of fake fruit in the kitchen, a pile of orange pillows on his bed or a painting hung in a hallway.

We start in his bedroom by collecting some of his clothes. We place each item of clothing in a big plastic bag. I stay clear from the underwear drawer though. I think I'll let Peeta deal with that. I don't want to embarrass him... or myself.

He chuckles.
"What?" I ask. I can't stop my lips curling into a big grin at the sound of his laugh.
"Nothing."
"What is it?" I walk over to him and look up at him, placing my chin on his muscly chest.
"You're just funny Katniss."
"Why?"
"Because you're so pure. Don't think I didn't notice you staying away from my underwear."
"Sorry! I thought you'd be embarrassed!" I blush and stare at the floor.
"Of course I wouldn't! I think you were more worried about embarrassing yourself." He chuckles. He pushes my chin up with his index finger and starts to lean down towards my lips. I'm just closing my eyes when I feel fabric pressed against my face. I slap it away and realise it was Peeta's underwear!
"Ewwww Peeta! That's gross!" He laughs at me heartily and stuffs the underwear back into the plastic bag. I scowl at him and run out of his bedroom, my cheeks burning. I run into a room at the end of the hallway and shut the door behind me.

A gasp escapes my lips. I must be in Peetas painting room. I pivot on my toes to see everything in the room. I see paintings of all different shapes, sizes and colours. I see beautiful paintings, like one depicting a forest or a beautiful orange sunset. Others are terrifying and bring vivid memories of the nightmare that was my life. Every kind of mutt we have encountered, Cato running after us, a white rose with a drop of blood staining the delicate petals. And there are at least ten paintings of me. Me in my Capitol wedding dress. Me poised with my bow and arrow ready to shoot. And also some not so nice paintings of me. My grey eyes gleaming like the dangerous looking weapons in my bloodied hands. Me with red or yellow or black eyes with a menacing grin on my face. Each of these paintings are painted with an unsteady hand with not the same attention to detail and neatness.

I hear Peeta calling for me across the hall.
"I'm here," I holler.
Peeta opens the door and pulls me in for a kiss. "Im sorry about making fun of you." Oh yeah. I forgot. Im supposed to be angry at him. I shake it off and kiss him back.
"So what do you think?" He asks gesturing to the paintings around us.
"I think they are beautiful. And I also think you are very talented." I don't normally make sappy comments like this but they flow out of my mouth before I can stop them. Being around Peeta has changed me.
"Thanks Kat!" He looks genuinely moved by my comment and a big grin comes over his face.

~Peeta POV~

"But how do you do it without refreshing bad memories or having a flashback?"
"They help me deal with bad memories or flashbacks. It helps to control them." It's true. Each stroke of colour on the canvas washes away the pain from a flashback. As I paint I keep my mind blank and focus on letting the memory go, as if I were releasing birds from a cage and locking it shut so they couldn't return. Painting helps me hold my grip on reality and sought through all of the conflicting thoughts in my brain, part my own, part mutt. It helps me to recall the good memories, let go of the bad and hold on to what little sanity I have left.

My body freezes when I see one of my paintings leaning on the wall. A picture of Katniss' sister holding the flower of which she was named after. I search for an excuse to bring her away from the room before she sees it and triggers some sort of breakdown.
"Hey Kat could you help me move some stuff from my bedroom?"
I place my hand on her shoulder and try to steer her out of the room but her muscles are rigid and her skin is as cold as ice.
"Katniss?" I call softly. "Katniss I need you to come with me." But she doesn't respond. I duck my head to her eye level so we are eye to eye. Her eyes are staring straight through me and are glistening with tears. She looks as if she is worlds away from reality.
"Kat can you hear me? Answer me! Katniss!" She won't respond. What is going on? My vision blurs as the tears build and fall, landing on her colourless face. "Kat talk to me!" I try bringing her back to me with a kiss but even that doesn't work. I start to panic as adrenaline courses through my veins.
"KATNISS!"

I see a face poke through the painting room door. Haymitch. He takes Katniss from me and takes her to my room where he lies her on the bed. He whispers specific phrases into her ear getting an occasional nod from her. She stares at Haymitch with intense fear, holding onto his words like a lifeline. He turns to me.

"Can you go get a glass of water?" I rush downstairs and fill a glass with trembling hands. I hand the drink to Haymitch who puts it to her mouth.
"Haymitch, what the hell is going on?"
"This used to happen a lot before you got here." He said. "Once a week or so she would go cold and unresponsive. She'll be okay," he said when he saw the horrified expression on my face.

I took her home to her bed after she was calmed by Haymitch. He also explained some techniques for me to use if this happens again.

I was shaken up by today's incident. I thought I had lost her. I could never live with myself if I lost her.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask.
"Always," she whispers, the first words she had spoken in hours. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting a reply. I kissed her forehead and she drifted off back to sleep.

I didn't end up sleeping that night. I slept through nightmares of her leaving me in various ways to wake up with relief to find she is still resting on my chest between my arms.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've had a bit of writers block. It was awful. It took me so long to write and edit this chap

Sorry this chapter is so bad! I'm trying really hard to work on my vocab and to stop joining sentences by saying and all the time 😒

Anyway love you guys 😄💕
~everlarkeverlark~