Together, Always || An After Mockingjay Everlark Fanfiction

Chapter 28

I wave and wave until my arm hurts as the train leaves the District 12 platform. The second the train leaves I drop my smile and feel my cheeks ache from plastering a smile on my face for so long. I miss them already, but at the same time I can't deny that a small part of me feels a great deal of relief after waving my last goodbye to the flashbacks and memories they bring for just for a while.

It's been a week since Peeta asked me about having kids. The idea still makes me shudder and that will probably never change. I refuse to bring a child into my cursed arms. I won't let it happen. He hasn't brought it up since that night a week ago and I'm hoping he won't ever. I don't think I will ever change my mind. At the same time a small nagging part of me makes me want to agree to it for his sake. This is the one thing Peeta has ever really requested from me. Peeta, all give and no take, has helped me through so much, been here for me through absolute thick and thin, has never asked for anything more. That small nagging part of me wants to give the man of my life the only thing he's ever asked from me. If sounds like we're married sometimes and I think of him sometimes as if he was.

I have a sudden dawning thought, it's been nearly ten years now and we aren't even married. My mother would be shocked if she was here. She followed traditional beliefs pretty much her whole life, she lived with her family until she met my father, they went off to live together in a little house in the Seam, got married, had me, then Prim. Their life was every bit traditional (as much as the Capitol allowed) and I think she hoped I would follow that too.

I doubt she's even thought about me once since she left. I bet she's adamant on leaving this part of her life behind her. I don't blame her. Her first child is nothing but a tragic animal and her innocent beautiful youngest was murdered in the older's wake. How could she love me?

Peeta's hand firmly grasping mine brings me back as he leads me back inside the house, switches on the tv and leaves me on the couch as he makes lunch. I sit, absentmindedly gazing at the flickering colours emitted from the screen before he nudges me with food and a kiss.
"I'm just going into town to get some food and liquor for Haymitch, I'll be back in an hour, okay?" I nod and he leaves a long kiss on my forehead,
leaving a feeling that lingers on my skin  long after he closes the door behind him.

I watch the clock tick for 30 seconds before I'm driven mad by waiting with my head spinning like wild about Peeta's question. I get up with a sudden burst of energy and leave a note on the counter telling Peeta where I've gone before I dash out the house with my bow and arrow. I think clearest in these woods, the cool breeze clearing my brain, the sweet smells sharpening my senses.

By the time I'm walking back into the square the sun is beginning to set, the district is heading home for dinner with their families and I have come to my final decision. I'm startled by a small childlike wail coming from Haymitch's house and, on instinct, I sprint to his house and barge through the front door to find Effie crying into Haymitch's shirt as Peeta pours her a glass of wine. Mascara is smeared in dramatic black streaks down her face. Haymitch strokes her hair awkwardly as if he isn't quite sure what else to do. I catch Peeta's eye and he comes over to update me on what the hell is going on.
"Effie's boyfriend broke up with her." I almost snort not surprised by that absolute arsehole but am stopped short when I see Peeta's face.

His pupils are dilated so much that the blue is almost lost, and what little blue left is barely blue, more a deep cloudy grey. His face is as white as a sheet, huge bruise looking bags sitting under his eyes and his muscles are tort under his dirt covered shirt.

"Flashback?" He shakes his head.
"I'll explain later."
"Are you alright-"
But before Peeta can answer the room goes completely silent as Effie seems to notice my presence and wipes her tears away as if embarrassed that I saw her so emotional, straightens up and away from Haymitch who looks upset by being pushed away for a split second before setting his face back to his normal sullen expression.