My bully , Ashton Irwin

chapter 46

Chris's P.O.V.

Ashton's house is indeed huge. He had gave me a short tour , but he didnt show me the room , that I am now in front of . I slowly opened the door . As soon as I saw the pink walls and the dolls on the shelves , my feet started trembling . This must have been Elizabeth's room . The walls were filled with pictures of a young girl with brown hair and green eyes . There was also photograph with Ashton holding his sister in his arms . She looked a lot like him . Ashton was smiling wide , as he looked at his little sisiter , who was smiling . I smiled to this picture . Ashton looks genuinely happy .

'' What are you doing here ?'' I heard his voice . I turned around and looked at him . I didnt have what to say . '' There is a reason that I didnt show you this room .'' he said , his voice raising . I took a step back , being scared by his reaction .

'' I-I am s-sorry .'' I shuttered . His expression then softened .He sighed deeply .

'' No , I am sorry . I shouldn't have scared you . I over-reacted . '' he said and I went over to him and hugged him . He wrapped his arms around me and burried his face in my neck .

'' She is beautiful '' I said to him , as we broke the hug .

'' She was .'' he corrected me . '' Can we just not stay here ?'' he asked and I nodded . We both went to the living room .

'' You know it would be good , if you talked about it .'' I said , as he seemed quite upset .He sighed and looked at me , as he sat beside me .

'' My parents told me to take her for a walk at the playground  . I was too lazy to go , but I ended up taking her . So , we went . I sat on a bench and she went to the swings . At first , I kept a close eye on her , but then I started texting Michael . '' he said and a tear slipped from his eye . '' I was totally absorbed to the conversation that I forgot about Lizzie . I then heard a scream . I put the phone down and looked at her direction . She fell on the back of her head . I quickly ran to her . She was crying and ... '' he was now sobbing . A tear fell from my eye , as I saw him in this state .

'' It's okay , Ashton . You dont have to continue .'' I said as I patted his back .

'' I called an ambulence and they soon came . She had a closed head injury and fell in a coma . Two weeks later , the doctors took off the life support , saying that there was no hope . It is my fault , Chris . It was all my fault that she died . '' he was now a crying mess . I pulled him in for a hug , his face burried in the crook of my neck . 

'' It is not your fault , Ashton . It was an accident .'' I whispered in his ear .

'' NO .'' he yelled , as he stood up .'' It is all my fault . I should have been looking at her , not texting Michael .'' he cried . I stood up and approached him . He stumbled back . '' I am going to go . I will be back for a bit .'' he sobbed , as he wore his jacket .

'' Ashton , dont go out . Let's talk . Stay here .'' I pleaded , but he was already out of the door . I looked at the window and saw him stepping in his car . Where is he going ? I sat down and put my head in my hands . I am worried about him . What if he does something stupid ? He hasnt got over his sister death . He blames himself for what happened and that is making him mad . I nervously started biting my fingernails , waiting for him to come back home .

~~~~~~~

After 4 hours , I heard the door open . I quickly got up from the couch and went up to the door .Ashton came in and threw his jacket on the floor . '' Oh my god , you are back . I was so worried .'' I said going near him to give him a hug . He completely ignored my presence and walked to his room . I silently walked behind him, the smell of alcohol coming from him burning my nostrils . '' Ashton , do you want to talk about it ? '' I asked as I put my had on his shoulder . He turned around and pushed me forcefully on the wall behind me .

'' I dont want to talk to you , god damn it . Leave me alone . You are so annoying .'' he yelled . I didnt know what to concetrate on right now . Ths shooting pain in my spine or Ashton . 

'' I am sorry .'' I whispered at the door and went to the room I was sleeping. I lied on the bed and pulled the covers over me . Maybe I really am annoying . Maybe I should leave him alone . I just waned to help though . I cant stand seeing him so sad . 

Ashton's P.OV.

'' I am sorry .'' I heard her say softly . That's when it hit me . What the fck am I doing ? I am pushing away the person who cares about me . If that was another girl , she would have left , she would have yelled at me , but she asked sorry . She shouldnt ask sorry . I am the one that should ask her sorry .Since Lizzie's death I changed , I know that . I was angry and I am still angry at myself . I shouldnt let my anger out on her , though . She is here for me and I should appreciate her presence . Instead I yell at her and push her on the wall . I silently got out of my room and walked up to the room she was sleeping .

The door was a bit open  so I cold see that she had lied on the bed . I slowly opened the door a bit and stepped in the room . I carefuly lied beside her and softly tapped her shoulder .'' Chris , I am sorry . Please , forgive me .'' I whispered and she turned to me .  From the small light of the corridor , I could see her eyes being filled with tears and that's when I started crying too . I am hurting the people I care for . She deserves way more than me .

'' Ashton , dont cry .'' she said as she wrapped her arms around me .

''I am so sorry , Chris . I didnt mean anything . I am sorry .'' I cried . '' I am sorry for pushing you and for yelling at you . I am the worst boyfriend .'' I added.

'' Ashton, it is okay . You are upset . But I just want you to know that it wasnt your fault for what happened . You cant blame yourself for forever . I think that Lizzied wouldnt want to see you like this .'' she said looking at me , as she wiped my tears off with her thumbs . She may be right . Lizzie wouldnt want me crying . '' Just relax and have some sleep .'' she said pulling the covers over me .I placed my arm over her and closed my eyes thinking how did I get so lucky .

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Hello my beautiful readers !! Did you like this chapter ??? I really hope you did ! I also hope 2015 is so far going great for you :)  You passed 450k !!! That is like 30k views in 6 days !!!!!! I really dont know how to thank you all enough !!  Not to forget , some of you have been asking about the Michael ff that I was thinking about starting . Unfortunately I dont have time for a second story right now and I dont want to start a story and not update it . I hope , I start another book at some point , just right now high school is being demanding and a bit overwhelming . Moreover , unfortunaltely , a lot of kids have died the way Lizzie did in this tory . I was reading some articles about deaths on the swings at the playgrounds and I started crying , so yeah . I just want you to know that I didnt just made up all this . These things actually happen .....

shoutout to Calums-Babe , she is super and nice and also writes a ff about Calum , so show her some love !!

  Also shoutou to  XVIIXXII  , an italian reader , who is super friendly and nice and awesome !!

Love ya, bye 

xoxoC.