The Broken Kids

Chapter Thirty-Two: Tears & Cuts⚠️

Grandson ~ Despicable (song above)

⚠️Warning⚠️
Contains mature content such as self-harm and some graphic violence (won't go all into detail) please do not continue if not comfortable. I suggest you play this song when I put **✨💖

...

It'd been a month since Lena's arrival and things were going fine... I mean, I haven't tortured anything or anyone, my unsettling desires have somewhat faded, and I'm getting better at controlling my episodes (my voice too). School today should have been no different from previous times.

Except it had been different. I've been feeling very off lately. When people ask me how I'm doing I don't know how to reply. Do they really wanna know? Or is it just a common thing to ask? In the end, my reply is always the same, "I'm fine."

When in reality, I'm. Not. Fucking. Fine. At. All.

My voice came back stronger than ever and decided that it would be fun to taunt me, my unsettling desires are growing, and the need to torture someone or something is growing by the seconds. Fun, huh? Not in the slightest way is this "fun."
Also, Lena's offer is beginning to sound more and more tempting as the days go by, but I don't want to hurt her. She offered me to inflict pain on her and what she doesn't understand is that it physically hurts me to want to.

But no matter how many times I've tried to distance myself from her, she wouldn't listen. I even went as far as trying to tell her pa y ma and of course my pa, but she still doesn't wanna budge. She insists on staying by me when I'm trying to save her.

In the end, to no avail, I would fail...
...

"Oye, Paco c'mon we're gonna be late for the party at the park!" She called out from the living room. I felt sick. Not like a fever or anything like that, I meant my unsettling desires were starting to get bad. When the pictures in front of my eyes start to form, it's like I can see what the itch in my hands want to do.
One scenario consists of me using a knife to scar Lena's brown angelic skin and the other displays me slowly torturing her with bruises by my own hands.

Today at school I avoided Lena like the plague. She knows why, but I can't help feeling guilty. I don't-

hell.

I rushed to the restroom and threw up. My hands were shaking. What Z said is right...I am a true monster.
...
"Well, well, well, that wasn't very nice to throw up after I gave such a wonderful speech.

"Shut up!" The voice didn't listen

"Why? You know you wanna hurt her so tenderly it sends shivers down to your spine- especially down to your very core of existence."

"You don't know what I want! What I want is for you to leave me alone!"

"Oh Paco, you said so yourself, you feel completely empty and numb when I'm not here."

I cried as my lips quivered. The sick wanting was getting harder to resist.

"You don't seem to realize that I've been here with you before your imaginary friends even disappeared."