Borrowed Time

Twelve

➰

Well, mistakes do happen. Hell, sometimes you need to slip up so you can remember how not to slip up the next time. It's all in the lesson—sometimes you backtrack trying to move forward. And that's okay. That is completely okay.

These were the thoughts that crowded my mind while I was seated in my vehicle, driving in the direction of my home. I had just dropped Josiah off to school and knew that once I returned home, I needed to have a conversation with Joy.

What we did wasn't the most terrible thing, but it wasn't the greatest either. We needed to be clear on where we stood, not just for Josiah's sake, but also our own.

When I arrived to the house and entered through the front door, an instant aroma of breakfast filled my nose. Joy had been in the kitchen preparing scrambled eggs and toast.

"Good morning, babe," She said, turning from the stove to greet me. Her body was covered in a red, silk robe while slippers of the same color trapped her feet.

Immediately, I looked at her as though she had forgotten where the hell she was. "My name is not—please don't call me that, Joy." I stood against the kitchen counter, watching as she scrambled the eggs. "We...we need to talk about last night. What we did, it cannot happen again."

"Well it's too late for that," Joy said back, transferring the thoroughly cooked eggs to a serving dish. "When I woke up, I left Karen a voicemail. So there's no need to—"

Eyeing her sideways, I grew concerned. "A voicemail?" What in the world was she talking about? "Saying what exactly?" I then watched as the woman grabbed two plates from the cabinet above the stove, beginning to place the eggs and toast upon them.

"Toni, last night wasn't just sex for me, okay? It was almost as if we were making love for the first time all over again." She held onto her chest, closing her eyes. The memory of our first time had crept within her mind. "I miss that feeling; being connected to you. I want it back."

I grabbed a piece of toast from the plate she prepared for me, taking a small bite. "Okay, just because we had sex last night does not mean things are just fine and dandy now." I meant what I said. Though the intimacy felt good, it wasn't some sort of peace treaty. "I...I think we both were just caught up in the moment. And not to mention, we had been drinking wine."

Joy sighed, rolling her eyes. "Listen, I know we have had some rough times, I know that. We've both hurt each other, said some things we didn't mean. But all marriages go through that, Toni." She too began to consume the breakfast, filling her mouth with eggs. "It's nothing that can't be worked out. I mean, what would you say if I promised to do better? To...to be better?"

"I say hell the fuck no," I responded, feeling rather annoyed. What she perceived last night to be, was not the same perception I had. I truly felt as though we had just slipped up. That's it, that's all. "Got me cursing like this early in the goddamn morning." I moved my head in disbelief, holding the palm of my right hand upon my forehead. "Joy, I do not want to get back together, okay? Sometimes sex is just sex, nothing more."

She searched her throat for a response, but uttered no words as sudden singing filled both our ears. We looked at each other, uncertain as to where it was coming from. Hearing it grow closer, we soon realized it had been sounding from outside.