Borrowed Time

Forty Two

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What do you do when you see the child you've raised lay almost lifeless in your arms? How do you breathe when you watch blood pour from their miniature sized body?

The truth is, you can't. You can't breathe.
I couldn't breathe.
It felt as though I was experiencing déjà vu, like I was taken back to the evening Tarik was shot and killed right in front of me.

The look in his eyes when his soul departed, the confusion in his face when he realized it was over. It was all revisiting my mind.

"Braxton?" A hefty voice sounded, releasing my last name from their lips. I figured it was the doctor treating Josiah as he was dressed in a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck and a clipboard in his left hand.

Joy, Mike, Janet and myself were seated in the waiting area, hoping to possibly hear any kind of update that we could. So when the man approached us, we all jumped up, ready to take in what he had to tell us.

"Yes," Joy answered him, stepping near me. "Josiah Braxton? We're his parents, his moms." She signaled between the two of us. "How is our son? Is he okay?"

The man shook our hands, introducing himself to us as Dr. McCain. "First and foremost, I am so very sorry that we meet under these circumstances, no child or parent should ever have to go through this." He held his freed hand upon his chest, utterly sympathetic. "It seems that Josiah has endured gunshot wounds, being struck in his chest area and now having a damaged lung."

"A damaged lung?" Mike asked, stepping a bit closer to the doctor. He sucked his teeth, shaking his head from side to side. "Goddamnit! Don't tell me y'all finna get ready to cut his lil legs off now?"

Confused, Dr. McCain, Joy and myself wondered of his response. It seemed he had mistaken a damaged lung for a case of diabetes.

"Doc, please ignore him," Joy told the physician, rolling her eyes a bit. "You say Josiah has a damaged lung? What-what does that mean? Is his breathing okay?"

"Unfortunately, he is not breathing on his own as we'd like him to be. In cases like these, we place the patient under a ventilator, which is what we've done with Josiah." The doctor informed, speaking very clearly. His eyes traveled from each of us. "We're hoping to see progressive results within the next few weeks and—"

"Hold on a minute," I cut the man off, astonished of what I heard. "You're telling me my son is on a breathing machine and has to stay on it for weeks at a time?" I watched as Dr. McCain's head motioned up and down. "Is he...is he even responsive right now?"

Knowing I'd been a bit worked up, Janet stepped closer to me, placing her nearest arm around my waist.

"He has not shown much of a response, no. But I assure you, Mrs. Braxton, my team and I are going to do everything in our power to help better your son's condition." The man spoke straightforwardly, trying to enlighten me of some good news at least. "Do you have any further questions?"

"Yes," Joy answered him, holding up the index finger to her right hand. "When-when can we see him?"

Dr. McCain said back, "We will allow visitors in just under an hour. Though, we are asking that visiting families are going into rooms two at a time—as this is the Intensive Care Unit." After being certain that we understood the guidelines, the man then told us, "Is it okay for me to have a moment with just the moms?"