Borrowed Time

Three

➰

When I finally spoke to Dorinda, I explained to her that there was an emergency, and that she needed to get home immediately. She told me the quickest she could come was the next night. I could've told her over the phone that her child had passed on, but I felt that kind of news could only be delivered in person. We agreed to meet up over at Mike's house—he was Tarik's father and I hated every bone in his body. Trust me, I had my reasons.

Seated on the edge of my shared bed, I bent down as I tied the laces of my white colored tennis shoes. When I finished, I walked over to our bedroom's body length mirror, eyeing my reflection. I saw a woman who was grieving, but still embodied nothing but strength. Thank God I didn't look like what I was going through.

"Going somewhere?" Joy asked, entering the room. She stood to the side of me, watching my every move.
Truthfully, I wish she hadn't continued to sleep within the same room. We were supposed to be on a break, separated. But we had had that talk already of our sleeping arrangements and decided to put Josiah first. We didn't want our baby to suspect anything he didn't have to.

"Yes," I said back, not giving her my eye contact. "Going to Mike's later. Headed to the grocery store now." I figured if Dorinda and myself were going to meet over at Mike's, the least I could do was provide some sort of refreshments. I mean hell, I was getting ready to tell my sister her only child had died.

Turning her lips inward and shaking her head from side to side, my wife crossed her arms above her chest. "So we're just not going to finish talking about this? Me moving in with Karen, Jojo coming with me?"

Immediately, I looked at her sideways, rolling my pupils. "Listen, I wouldn't give a damn if you went and moved in with Donald Trump's orange ass, okay?" It was true, I didn't care all that much, not for her sake anyways. "But when it comes to our son, we do need to have that conversation and we will. Just not right now."

Joy gasped, holding onto her chest. "Wow, I am offended. You know that Karen is a Trump supporter." I giggled. Fuck Karen and whoever she supported.
Joy then eyed me with astonishment, continuing with, "At some point we need to make a decision. Karen and I have already given a down-payment."

I sighed, wishing this woman would give me the space that I craved. I had too much on my mind to sort through everything at once. "Listen, we will have this conversation when it needs to be had. But in a couple of hours I gotta look my sister in her face and tell her that her son is dead. So I am trying to prepare myself for that, okay Joy?" I paused, growing irritated. "I'm sorry that I don't want to talk about you and Karen right now but that's just the way that it is. So just drop it, please."

My wife moved her head in a fashion that displayed some sort of disbelief, all while she gave me an expression of disappointment. "Wow. Unbelievable. Even when Tarik is gone, you still find ways to make everything about him." She released heavy breaths, pointing her finger within my direction. "You need to get your priorities in order."
After that, she then stormed off, exiting the room.

But see, she was wrong. My priorities were in order. It was my house that wasn't. Joy wanted me to be bothered that she had found another woman, but I honestly didn't care. If anything, I just wanted her to be happy and I prayed Karen helped with that. What bothered me was how Joy tried to force Karen upon me. Bringing her to the burial, telling me they were moving in together—like what point was she trying to make?

Once I exited the house, I made my way to Narwhal's Grocery Store. There, I carried around a miniature sized basket, only intending to grab a few things. Though, I didn't exactly know what I wanted to get. I couldn't think of the right foods that were to serve as comfort food. I mean, how could anybody really eat anything after learning that their child had died? All in all, my mind was blank. But, eventually, I did decide on ground beef for tacos. One thing about Tarik, he loved him some tacos.

After gathering all that I needed for the tacos, I got in line to checkout. Before me there had only been two people. One checking out, and the other skimming through a magazine as she awaited her turn. I couldn't help but to stare upon her. Her face was too familiar, her body was too memorable.

It was her. That beautiful, breathtaking woman from the burial. She wore her hair the same, her smile the same. Even her sense of style felt recognized. There was just something about dressing in black that she made look so elegant, so classy.

"I'd tell you to take a picture," she said, still looking within the reading material. "Because it'd last longer. But that'd be weird having a picture of a woman you don't even know." She then turned to face me, placing the magazine upon a nearing rack.

"I...I may not know you, but I do remember you," I said back, smiling. It was something about the way she spoke, the way her words echoed. All of it was so beautiful, so mesmerizing.

The woman gave me eyes of curiosity, looking at me sideways. "Really? Hm. If you remember me, what is my name?" Her index finger met with her chin.

"Janet," I replied confidently. Of course I hadn't forgotten the name belonging to such beauty. "Janet Jackson, to be precise." I then mocked her, speaking just as she had back at the burial.

Her eyes widened, she was rather impressed. "Okay, okay. So you do remember." Janet viewed me from head to toe, growing curious. "So, how have you been since the last I saw you?"

"I'm alright." My shoulders moved in an up and down fashion as I tried to gather my words. "I mean, I've been better. It's...It's not always easy trying to go on now that Tarik isn't here." I allowed my pupils to fall upon the floor beneath us, feeling my heart race. Nobody had asked me how I was doing since my nephew had died. Not even Joy. "But me—I just bottle everything in, keeping it pushing."

"Wow," the other woman replied, her head moving from side to side. "You don't listen, do you?" She crossed her arms above her chest as though she was awaiting some sort of explanation.

But I was confused. "I'm sorry?"
I had no idea what she was talking about. Though, I was not surprised at what was asked. Like mentioned before, this woman was mysterious. Nothing about her was out in the open nor readable.

"I told you to call me if there was anything you needed," Janet motioned within me, incessantly shaking her head in disbelief. "And you haven't. Why is that?"

"Oh no," I said back, placing my hands in sort of a surrendering position, disagreeing with her insistence for me to reach out to her. "I-I don't need anything. I am—"

But, she impeded my words, cutting them off with, "Mhm. Sounds to me like you need somebody to listen to you...to be there for you," she paused, growing her presence closer to my own. "So, why haven't you called me?"

When she stood closer to me, chills instantly ran through my body. I hadn't known whom she was nor the hold she had on me, but I was ready to find out. I was ready to learn her.
"So...what time would you prefer for me to...to call?"

Janet's shoulders shrugged, moving up and down. "Whenever you want." She then grew even closer to me, holding onto my eyes as she smiled. "I'm always available."
Lord, why was she so captivating.

I couldn't even respond, I didn't know how to respond. I admit, I was taken away. I had a tingling feeling running within me and it was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

When it was finally Janet's turn to checkout, she spoke to the cashier while pointing within my direction.
"Whatever she's got, ring it up under me."

—
A|N:
thoughts?