Borrowed Time

Forty Three

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"What do you mean you're responsible for the drive-by?" I asked Janet, feeling my chest grow tight. It was almost as though every ounce of blood in my body boiled, that every beat in my heart raced.

I didn't understand just what she was trying to confess to me. Why would she have anything to do with the shooting?

"Toni," the woman rolled my name from her tongue, speaking a bit tentatively, "I'm not who you think I am..."

Growing annoyed, I told her, "Yeah you said that before and you still have yet to tell me who you are." I breathed rapidly, unable to settle my impatience. "So who the hell are you, Janet?!"

She fiddled a bit with her fingers, placing her eyes just beneath us. It was clear that Janet was standing in some sort of guilt. "I...I have been wanting to tell you for some time now, but I just didn't want to upset you, baby." She had tears racing to her chin. "You mean the world to me, you really do. I know you're gonna hate me after this..."

I rolled my pupils, stationing both my hands upon my hips. Whatever it was she was keeping from me, she needed to just get it out already. "Listen, you just told me that you are responsible for almost killing my son. You got way more to be worried about than me being upset with you or hating you. So you need to tell me what's going on..."

"Okay, okay..." The woman replied, breathing deeply and holding onto her chest. "You-you remember the officer that killed Tarik?"

Of course I remembered him. I remembered the malice in his eyes, the deceit in his voice, the confidence he stood in just after he shot my nephew to death.

After seeing my head move up and down, Janet continued on with, "Well he and Karen—they're related. Brother and sister." Janet ran her fingers through her hair. "They have this plan to—"

But I cut her words off, trying to get an understanding of who she named. "Karen? Karen who? Joy's ex?" When she confirmed, it was almost as though I could feel my body shaking of rage. What a coincidence it was that my wife dated the sister of the man that murdered Tarik.
"Okay and how do you know them?"

For a moment, Janet hadn't spoke. It was though she needed a minute to gather her words as best she knew how. Then finally she said, "Karen and I, we're best friends, sisters almost. We've-we've known each other since we were kids."

I couldn't do much but pace back and forth in the area I stood within while my mind recalled all the prior moments that confused me at first, but were beginning to make sense now. "So...so this is why you were in that footage with Karen when she vandalized my shop, huh? You were helping her—you were helping your 'sister'?" I was growing so angry, I wanted to lash out. To scream, to beat Janet's whole ass.
"And if you're her best friend, then what are you doing with me?!"

"She sent me to you," the woman told me, still allowing tears to reach the end of her face. "Karen has this plan, alright? For us to get close to you and make you suffer like her family is suffering." She breathed a bit deep, confessing all that needed to be. "Ever since the shooting with Tarik, Hank has been getting death threats, Toni. And on top of that he's being made to look like some racist policeman when that is not who he is."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was as though she was some sort of coon, a pick-me for the white man in blue. This wasn't the Janet I'd fallen for, it wasn't at all.
"Oh? He's not?!" I moved closer to her but she only stepped away. "So why did he kill my nephew then, hm? Was it not the color of his skin?!" In complete disbelief, I moved my head from one side to the other. "And wait a minute, you don't think I'm suffering? Janet, I've suffered enough. My nephew is dead, I am just days away from a finalized divorce and my son is on fucking breathing machine. Is that not suffering?"

Janet tried to calm me, reaching for my hands. But I hadn't wanted her touch, I didn't want to feel her in this moment. "Baby, I know you're suffering, okay? I know you're going through it." She incessantly cried, letting the guilt hover her face. "Toni, I never meant to fall in love with you—it just happened."

I waved her off, clearly not caring for her words. "Okay, so how could you fall in love with me and then hurt me?" My face expressed obvious confusion. "And why would you allow a drive-by to happen at my house? You tryin' to kill me? Is that what it is?"

The woman protested, disagreeing with what was asked. "No, baby. No one was supposed to get hit, okay? Karen hired some guys who were supposed to just come by and let off a round on the house. It was just to scare you." Janet paused, beginning to feel some remorse for what occurred. "I am so sorry for what happened to Josiah, but you told me he would be gone with Joy, baby. So when I came and saw him there, I didn't have enough time to stop Karen's plans. I just...I had to let it happen, baby."

She didn't have to let it happen. She could have stopped it.
"Whether my son was there or not, you still let these people come to my house and shoot it up!" I told her, raising my voice some. "And then you had the audacity to shoot back as if you didn't know what the hell was going on!" I shook my head in disbelief, laughing at the irony of the incident. "Y'know what, Janet? You need to leave and never come around me again."

"Toni, please just give me a minute, okay?" She asked me, holding her hands near me as she began to beg. "Just give me a minute to—"

But I cut her off, replying to her with, "A minute? For what, Janet? You already wasted enough of my time, you've already borrowed enough of my time." I crossed my arms just over my chest, eyeing her sideways. "What else could you possibly want from me?"

I began to walk away, trying to ease my way closer to the hospital's entrance, but Janet only continued to talk to me.
"Toni, please don't—"

Truthfully, I didn't care to hear anything else she wanted to say. I just wanted to walk away from this moment and be done, but not until I said all that I needed to.
So I motioned toward her again, pointing in her direction.
"Y'know what? You gave me sign after sign, showing me that you weren't really who you said you were. Yet, I looked past it. I didn't want to believe it, to accept it. Because through all of your bullshit, you really are unlike any other woman I've known, Janet." I paused for a moment, allowing the memories of our love to fill my mind. "How you hold me, how you talk to me. No one has done it like you. Or is that all a lie, too? Is that apart of the plan?"

Janet moved her head from side to side, wanting me to believe otherwise. "No, Toni. I really wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, I was only supposed to get close to you. But the first time I saw you, I couldn't help it. And what I feel for you is real, I promise."

I rolled my eyes, not exactly convinced. "It's really hard to believe what you're saying..." I then placed my hands upon both my hips. "And-and what about the sex? Who else have you fucked like that? You secretly married or something?!"

"I am not married, Toni," she told me, seeming rather adamant. "I only want you, you know that." The woman attempted to step closer to me.

"No I don't!" I shot back, growing away from her. "I don't know shit because I don't even know who you really are! And what's the deal with you and Karen, hm?" I watched as Janet appeared to be confused. "You really best friends or is there something else about you two that I should know?"

She stood there with widened eyes and a puzzled expression. Whatever the truth was, she didn't know how to mouth it to me. She didn't know just how to reveal it to me and that shocked me. Because it seemed as though nothing about this woman was real, that every word from her mouth was just one lie after the other. But, then again, that was the thing about lies; once you've told one you find yourself telling a couple more.

A|N:
i have gotten so bad with updating—which is so bad for this book because it's definitely about to end :/
i also don't like this chapter but i gave it my best :/

any thoughts?
💖

-not edited