Dad's Diary

Chapter 22

Saturday 10th August 1963

A parent should never have to attend their child’s funeral. It’s a crime. A parent should die first, not the other way about. Patrick will always be my son, I don’t care. We will not forget him; he brought me and Jackie together.

Jack stood in the mirror fixing his tie. He looked old. He’d barley slept in a week and the sleep deprivation was taking its toll on him. His concentration was going and he couldn’t tie his tie. He kicked the table in frustration. “Damn it.”

Lee poked her head in. “Jack?”

“What?” He snapped.

She went in and tied it for him. “Calm down.” She tried to offer him comfort. Her arm wrapped around him. He sighed. “I’m fine.”

He pulled his suit jacket on and got into the car with Lee. He was silent. Never before had he ever seen it essential to tell the press to let the family be, much to his relief they had respected his wishes.

After a short service at Cardinal Cushing’s Residence the small number of attendees headed over to the burial plot.

Jack sat in the church, his hand on top of Patrick’s coffin. He was crying silently. “Jack?” Cardinal Cushing asked.

He looked up, not taking his hands off the tiny white coffin. “Yeah?”

“God is good.”

“Why does he let children die, they don’t deserve it.” He replied.

The Cardinal put an arm round him. “I know.”

After gaining some composure he watched as Patrick’s white coffin was placed in the ground. More tears came.

That afternoon when he got to Jackie’s bedside, he looked like hell. He closed the door to her room and sat down on the bed beside her. “Bunny?” She questioned, looking at his pale face.

As he talked about the funeral he broke down again. His head ended up in her chest as he sobbed. She rubbed his back. “Jack, it’s okay.” She whispered. “We have each other and two beautiful children.”

“Yes but I’ve let you down, I’m a terrible husband.”

“Jack, I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.”

After crying some more he fell asleep in her arms. Jackie held him. She didn’t know this would save their marriage.

I refuse to go to another funeral. I feel for any parent who has to bury a child. It’s wrong and I know when I get to heaven, God will have some explaining to do to me and Jackie.