I walked towards Doctor Ashby's office, in reality I lied about the walking part I stumbled there. This reminded me of all those times I'd stubbled home drunk after every single time Lisa had broken up with me. I remembered the cold, harsh taste of each sip of alcohol, how it burned as it went down my throat. Truth be told, I fucking hated the taste of beer or any kind of alcohol but I loved the feeling of being drunk, I loved the feeling of completely forgetting every fucked up thing in my life and just relaxing, it was beyond amazing.
I stumbled into Doctor Ashby's office and I sat down.
"From the looks of it, you're either high or you've been crying," He said bluntly.
"Second one's correct," I replied.
"What happened?" He asked, only it seemed like he actually gave a rats ass'.
"My boyfriends an ass."
"How so?"
"How do I describe it, he made me feel feel like I was walking on clouds, like I was going to be okay, then his ex comes along and suddenly I see his ex leaning in for a kiss and I ran away before I saw the rest, it hurt man, I felt like he had told me to trust him then he pushed me off a clift without a second thought."
"Alex, are you sure he would cheat on you?" He asked.
"Had you asked me that yesterday, I would've said no, but now I don't know."
"Let's say he did cheat on you, what would be his reason behind that?" He asked.
"Haven't you seen me, the list is never ending. Let's just say the main reasons though, I'm a screw up, I'm fucking ugly while his ex is handsome, I'm annoying as hell, and I feel like he knows he could do so much better."
"Alex, I need you to promise me that you'll talk to him about this."
"He told me he loved me yesterday and now he's gone off with his ex and he seems to be better than okay how am I supposed to feel?" I asked.
"You're not supposed to be okay, you're supposed be hurt, it just shows you're human, do you promise me that you'll talk to him?" he asked.
"I will."
"That's all the time we have for today but tomorrow you have group therapy then I'll see again on Wednesday."
I nodded and exited the room. I was still so fucking hurt. I wanted to talk to Jack but all that would lead to is our pending break up wouldn't it? I should be used to being cheated on after Lisa, all those times I'd caught her in bed with other guys, all those times she'd left me for them then came back when it didn't work out. I couldn't deal with that again. Not here, not in the place were I was meant to get better.
I was walking aimlessly outside. I kept running my hand up and down my scars. They felt so weird compared to the skin surrounding them, I looked at them and in the sun they same to get more noticeable. As I stood in the middle of a field staring at my pale arms someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and Jack stood there, I automatically smiled but the bit of happiness left when I remembered Vic leaning in.
"You saw it didn't you?" He asked, well more stated
I nodded my head, I was at a loss for words to speak.
"Alex, Vic and I have always been dating on and off, the last time I broke up with him was because I knew that when he was released he'd get back into the drug scene and I didn't wanna be dragged down with him, that was probably about a month or two ago and he's already back for the same issue. He told me he wanted to walk with me so I went along, then he tried to kiss me, when he leaned in I stood up. I told him about us and he said he was sorry, right now I think he went off with Kellin for comfort," He explained.
I sighed, "Jack I'm so glad you said that to me, I was so fucking scared that you were gonna leave me for him."
"I never would."
"Can I show you something?" I asked.
"Of course."
I grabbed his hand and dragged him to my room.
"Last time I was in here I got a very nice surprise," he smirked.
"Shut up," I blushed.
I got out the song I'd been working on and handed it to Jack.
"What is this?" He asked.
"A song," I replied.
"No I want you to sing it to me," he said.
"But I sound like sh-"
"Alexander William Gaskarth if you dare say shit I will smack you, you are fucking amazing."
I chuckled and took the song.
"Before I start I want to change he chorus as the song progressed but I'm not sure how."
"My ship went down
In a sea of sound.
When I woke up alone I had everything:
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
In a city of fools,
I was careful and cool,
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments I wished I could change
But I was carried away.
Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything.
Therapy
You were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery.
My lungs gave out
As I faced the crowd.
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous.
I'm flesh and bone,
I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious.
Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything.
Therapy
You were never a friend to me
And you can keep your all misery.
Arrogant boy,
Love yourself so no one has to.
They're better off without you.
Arrogant boy,
Cause a scene like you're supposed to.
They'll fall asleep without you.
You're lucky if your memory remains.
Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything.
Therapy
You were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery.
Therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything.
Therapy
You were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery."
When I looked up at Jack he was, speechless to say the least. I couldn't read the expression on his face. I wanted him to like it not hate it.
"I know its shit but a reply would be great," I said sarcastically.
Jack rolled his eyes and said, "That was actually fucking amazing."
"Don't lie."
"No it really is but I have an idea how you could change the chorus."
"How so?"
"Well when you say 'Keep all your misery' each time you should change that like maybe 'Take back your misery,' then maybe 'You can choke on your misery," when it ends," he said.
"I actually really like that idea," I confessed. "All I need now is to add music"
"I can help you on the guitar bit," Jack said.
"You play?" I asked.
"A little."
"Hey maybe we could start a band one day," I joked
YOU ARE READING
Mental Ward (Jalex)
Fanfiction{Can be triggering} Alex isn't happy with his life, one day he decides he'd had enough and attempts suicide, in a panic his parents take him the hospital and manage to save his life. When he wakes up he's told his parents have signed him into a ment...
