Into the Unknown

Chapter 5

"You ready?" asks Alex as we pull up to Grauman's Chinese in Hollywood. I take a look outside, to see fans and photographers outside. I nod as I intertwine our hands and follow him out of the car. I am met with flashes and screams. Alex wraps his arm around my waist as we walk down the red carpet. We pose for pictures together and sign autographs. Seeing flashes in front of my eyes blinds me but according to Alex, that's normal. I hold a smile for a long time, at least until my mouth hurts. Sometimes I would do little things like kiss his cheek or place my hand on his chest while looking at him lovingly.

After two long months, we are in Hollywood at the movie premiere. This morning before we left, I posted a picture of Alex and me posing with our outfits on Instagram with the caption: Glad to spend the day and first movie premiere with the man I love. Happy Birthday, Alex.

Malex shippers went fan crazy and commented on how cute of a couple we are. I see interviewers trying to get our attention so I lead us to one of them. "Hello, there," a woman says. She introduced herself as Hailey. "Hi," Alex and I greet.

"Do you mind if I ask both of you some questions?" she asks. "I am a journalist for E! News." I shake my head and smile. I notice fans are staring at my dress and Alex's tux. My dress is a lilac Celine gown, which features thin straps, a thigh-high split and a folded bodice. Alex is wearing a dark blue suit that was designed by Salvatore Ferragamo. "When people watch this film, what do you think they'll enjoy the most?"

"I think that fans will fall in love with the story, character development, relationships that are built and the message of the story," I say, leaning into Alex, resting my hand on his chest. I know that fans and press love public display of affection so I take his hand and intertwine it with mine while pecking his cheek.

"What is the message?" asks Hailey, who is interested while writing down what I said on her small notepad.

"To never give up on your dreams and you can overcome anything if you believe in yourself," explains Alex. He kisses the top of my head and smiles down at me.

"Also, if you put your mind to something, if you believe in yourself, whatever you dream or wish for may come true," I add.

"One last question," Hailey says. "Did you guy fall in love on set or when you first laid eyes on each other?"

I laugh and smile at Alex. "Um," I begin. Alex looks at me as if he dares me to say something. He grip on my waist tightens and I can see that his muscles are ridged. I know that if I say the wrong thing, I'll be in trouble not only with Alex, but with Matthew. "I fell in love with him through out the movie." I see Alex breathe out a sigh of relief and his muscles relax. After a couple of minutes of silence, Alex speaks up.

"I fell in love with her from the moment I laid eyes on her," Alex says, smiling tightly, like its forced. His grip on me is still tight that it hurts a little, but I ignore it for the sake of the movie and that we are in public.

I don't know why, but sometimes I second guess our relationship. I think to my self late at night whether if I had made the right decision of choosing to be with Alex. I don't even know if I even love Alex the way I am supposed to. When I see my parents look at each other, I can see the love radiating from each other. I can tell that they make each other happy and that they truly love each other.

However, I don't feel that with Alex whenever I look at him. To be honest, I am not happy to be with him. I mean, I have act like I am for the paparazzi but behind closed doors, away from the cameras, I am miserable. Alex barely acknowledges my presence sometimes and if he does, he says a couple of words before leaving me. Sometime I think that he doesn't really love me, that he's just playing me like I am a piece of his game. Like I am a pawn in his game of chess.

We say goodbye to Hailey and made our way down the carpet. I sign posters and take pictures with numerous fans. I take solo pictures and some with Alex before we make our way to the end. Once everyone who worked on the movie was there, we took a group photo. As flashes blind me, I push away all of my doubts and fears and focus on what's happening in front of me. All I can think of is how amazing the cast and crew are and how they made my first movie experience unforgettable. Even though this night is supposed to be a memory that I can look back on with a happy face, sadly it's not going to be one.