20. ᴍᴇɴ ᴀʀᴇ sᴜᴘᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ? ▪️

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Sup y'all!!!!! It has been a while. School has been a pain in the arse and I couldn't find time for personal self let alone write. I'm sorry for the wait. Thanks to everyone who has read and voted. I love y'all. Check out this chapter cause I don't want to keep you waiting.

Oh god, I'm ranting. Just ignore me. Read on. Read on!

[TERRAI MONTEGO]

"I do like you T. I'm just not good at this stuff. Relationships weren't my thing. I do see you as a partner. And I just find myself nervous and lost of words when I'm around you. Its like everything fades and all I could see is you, glowing in the sunlight, your smile is all I can think of. You don't do it often but when you do, its like mini cameras in my head going off, taking photos from all the angles. I'm just nervous and I never knew how to approach you. I'm sorry, even if its too late."

I never knew what to do. When I finally got what I wanted to hear, I ran like an idiot.

But can you blame me?

I am just coming to terms with this side of me. I never knew it could feel so different when a guy pour his feelings out to you. A man. Men are supposed to be tough, intimidating, and we're not the emotional type.

At least that what I've been told. But this makes me question. The way Shawn just spoke, I wanted to gasp, touch my rapid beating heart, and pinched myself wondering if I was dreaming. I felt like a cat purring at his words, most of all I felt less intimidating and I wanted to cry! Does that makes me any less than a man?

My usual glare was turned into teary eyes, as he confessed. I wanted to bash his head in for making me feel this vulnerable and I wanted to kiss it at the same time.

I'm confused!

My walls were shattered, my guards are dead. His words were like bomb that executed them all.

When I reached home, I wasted no time opening the house. My breath came out in pants I literally ran to get some water. Instead I saw a cool glass of lemonade I gulped almost the whole jug. You can say I'm stress drinking, I don't care. I got up and walked to the stairs, pulling off all my articles of clothing and jumped right in the bed that hasn't been used for three days.

Can you imagine the coziness? My eyes instantly closed and I found myself grabbing at my phone for some unknown reason but then I realized, I don't have a phone.

I sort of got a little angry, thinking about everything that has happened today. I just can't see myself blaming Shawn, I don't know why?
The look he gave me before I fell, I knew it wasn't his actions, he never ordered them to harm me. But it's ironic, he's a man that has broken almost all the laws, taken lives and all the gang related activities, yet I feel safe.

Wait, is ironic the best word to use?

How could I live in the house with killer and feel safe?! Oh my god! Am suicidal, I'm psycho. I'm just asking crazy as he is!
But what haven't I have any attempt to report him?

Oh Jesus! Christ of Nazareth!
And his words started to play in my head.

"And you my friend, are a masochist"

God, he's right! I do love inflicting harm in myself.

I shook myself, deny all that he has said. I was a good boy, who grew up in church and a man who has morals.

How could I not tell him the commandment of thou shalt not kill?

All my mother's time of getting me in church was all in vain.

They were blaming me saying that their boss what acting strange..Distracted maybe?

Was that why?

Nooooo! I'm just over thinking. Out of the blue, I started to remember what happened at at my childhood home, a few hours, before we left.

Both of us had each other in tight grips. Neither choosing to let go, his hands roam my body and so did mine. His hand massaged my left pec where I got my ever first tattoo. His swollen lips went at my neck like a craving vampire. As he bit down I felt my member twitched in anticipation. Our hard chests rubbed from how close we were, I grabbed his muscular ass, squeezing it between my huge palms. It was thick and robust.

A loud sexy moan erupted from his lips, as we we tried to dominate each other but neither had any intention of backing down. Everything was pure aggression, it was rough, and I found myself liking it.

I quickly snapped self out of that daze or whatever I was in.

How could I do this? How could I really think of him like that after I left him hanging?

I'm selfish and a coward. I found myself forgetting about the thing in my pants that was throbbing for for attention, and just fluffed my pillows and closed my eyes, tried to take a nap.




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IN THE MEANWHILE AT SHAWN'S

[DESHAWN RUSSEL]

I laid in my bed looking through all the events that had happened today. I stared at the ceiling deep in thoughts.

What more does he want from me?
I told him. When I finally grew two extra balls, man-up and said what I had to, he ran!

Was this a joke?

Did he wanted to make a fool out of me?

And just the cherry on top, the nigga made a sandwich which looks nice but where is the fucking meat. It was just cucumbers, tomatoes and shit. I don't remember telling his sexy ass about me turning vegetarian. He should be lucky that ass is cute or I would spank it!

Well just wait until you feel my wrath Terrai, you'll wish you never met a nigga like me.

Just wait motherfucker!

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