Desperate for you

Chapter 28

Chelsea POV
“Are you sure you want to do this Chelsea?” Dylan asked me. “Yes Dylan. I want to do it. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I want to move on and there is no way I can do that without talking to him. I want to let him know that I’m better off without him,” I replied, stuffing things inside my purse.

I’m currently in my room, with Dylan pacing around like there is no tomorrow, trying to discourage me from going to talk to Ashton.

“At least let me go with you,” he said firmly. He obviously didn’t want this. He wanted to protect me and I understand. What he doesn’t know is how much I need to do this.

“Listen, Dylan. I’ll be fine ok. I don’t need you or anyone coming with me. If I don’t do this, I’m going to continue living with this pain for the rest of my life. I want to talk to him, and there is nothing you can do or say to stop me,” I said in finality.

He ran his hands through his hair and groaned out loud in frustration. “As much as I would love to see you frustrated and angry at me, I have somewhere to be. I’ll see you later,” I said as I left.

One thing about me is that I always get what I want. I can be very stubborn when I need to do something beneficial to me and someone tries to stop me. I’m not going down without a fight.

Walking through the halls of this prestigious school, the impact of what I am about to do finally dawned on me.

Fuck it. I was going to talk to Ashton Manchester…

I was going to talk to my ex, the guy I once loved, the guy that ruined my life.

What on earth was I going to say to him when I saw him? Would I say ‘hi’, would I stare at him? I don’t know how on earth how to talk to an ex… more of a confrontation

Bloody hell. I should have planned this out. I’m so stupid. I was so caught up with talking to him that I actually don’t know what to say to him…

Any ideas. Anyone.

Moving on...

I stopped in front of the door staring at the numbers 250. I looked at the numbers as if I was looking for some kind of virus that was hidden in it.

After staring at the numbers for what felt like an hour, though it was just 20 minutes, I got the courage to knock. I managed to gather enough courage to talk to him and settle the things in my life.

The door opened to reveal Ashton, wearing only shorts and I avoided eye contact. I didn’t want to look vulnerable to him… it happened once. And it won’t happen again.

I summon the cold and ruthless Chelsea, come now to my aid and help me in my quest to settle things with this dickhead.

“Hi,” I said confidently. He just looked at me, shocked to see that I’m at his door. “Can I come in?” I asked and he ushered me in. I went in and sat on one of the beds. I could hear him murmuring, he tends to do that whenever he is nervous.

What on earth could he be nervous about? Either way, I didn’t want to stay here long. Nobody wants to be in the presence of a devil for a long time.

“Ashton, I need you to listen to me. I only came here to make peace. I don’t want any trouble and I want to free myself from the cage you put me in. I want to move on, and I realized I can’t do that if I still have something against you. I want to start over, experience a life free from the ruin you did to me. I don’t want to keep living with the fear of having to go through the same thing over and over.”

I continued when he gave me look of disbelief. “You ruined me Ashton and for years I never wanted to speak to you. I never wanted to see your face cuz I told myself I was going to kill you if I saw you. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t have that heart to do that. You turned me into someone I never wanted to be. I kept secrets from my best friends, I didn’t trust anyone because of what you put me through. I hate you Ashton for all the shit you put me through. I thought I never could forgive you for what you put me through Ashton,”

I went closer and held his two hands.

“I forgive you Ashton Manchester. I forgive you for everything you did to me, what you put me through… I forgive you for all of it. I could never have a peaceful life if I didn’t and I would be at war with myself if I didn’t. I am finally moving on, hoping for a better future without you in it. I want to keep living without thinking of my past with the devil himself. It makes no sense, and it won’t do me any good.”

I let go and held unto my purse tighter. I was almost crying but I put myself in one piece.

“I loved you Ashton, not any more. I don’t want you to say anything to me cuz you are just going to make me angrier. I’m moving on and I forgive you. I also wanted to say goodbye Ashton. I guess this is a more decent breakup,” I said with a sad laugh.

“I really missed you though. I also wish well for you. I hope you would find a girl who would be able to put up with you, at least I know I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

And then I hugged him. This wasn’t the kind of hugs friends give, or couples give either… it’s a goodbye hug. It’s the last hug Ashton would ever be receiving from me.

I left his room and wiped way the tears that were wanting to be free. I’m not going to get emotional. I’ve left Ashton, I’ve forgiven him…

I’ve moved on. This time I’m not going back. I look forward to a happy and bright future. As of now…

Ashton Manchester is gone… he is dead to me and he’s never going to hurt me again.

I'm proud of me.

Counting down to the last three chapters of this book. It has been a good journey guys.

This isn't the last of me though... I've started a book HER PRINCE and I'd be happy if you guys check it out and give me feedback.

Continue to stay safe snd keep healthy.

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