it should be me (TanZen Fanfic)

Chapter 8 - It should be me

Tanjiro's POV

I start to run now knowing where exactly he went. My thoughts rambling and rambling and overflowing with ideas like 'I should give him space' or 'Chase after him'. Confused at what to do, I just go with what I want and continue to find him.

I was nearing the garden and my mind was so focused to go and get Zenitsu that I end up bumping into someone. We both fell over and I just bumped into the wrong person. Oh, hahaha, Shinobu-san. I'm totally dead now. I bowed almost immediately after being able to stand up and apologize.

"IM SO SORRY, SHINOBU-SAN!!" CRAP SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME OR PUNISH THE ABSOLUTE HELL OUT OF ME!!! I was so scared that I might die so now I'm trembling. Shinobu-san is really f*cking scary when she's mad.

"Ouch... that hurt, Kamado-kun." I looked up at her and saw the scariest looking smile on her face. If anyone else saw this, they might pass out. She continued to talk.

"At least, tell me the reason why you are such in a hurry?" I was going to tell her some dumb excuse like 'training' but she wouldn't buy it. So, I'll just tell her the truth.

"U-um... I was chasing after Zenitsu..." Did it work?

"Oh. Ok then! Just be careful next time!" she said while smiling happily so I sigh in relief that she let me off the hook.

I continue running and maybe came at the worst time possible. I see the garden and see my boyfriend, with another boy. They're both laughing. Why? Why wasn't I the one with him? Why doesn't he laugh like that with me? Why does it have to be another boy? Were we really just not fit for each other at all? Thoughts like that kept coming into my head. This has happened before. Water was crawling down on my face again. Am I crying?

I looked up again and notice that they were laughing twice as hard as before. Is it really just not going to work out? I run. I run and I run until I hit a wall. After I hit it, I just collapsed and broke down into tears. Maybe I did just force him and I didn't listen to his opinions. I just want to cry and let it all out.

~time skip until the sunsets~

It's been like 4 hours since I was here at the wall. I look like a f*ucking idiot here. But it just hurts so much. I didn't know that love can be happy and painful at the same time. I've never experienced this before. I'm totally new at this. Now, I know why someone gets so upset when they see their lover with someone else. Before, I thought that that was just weird and creepy. Now that im actually experiencing it, It's just totally relatable now.

I decide to stand up and walk and take deep breaths. Just calm myself down a little. Think about nice things and just... forget.

Because I ran without looking at anything, now im totally in a different place. Now, I try to find myself back to the garden and while looking around, I stumble upon Shinobu-san's room. Maybe I should just talk to her about this and apologize again for bumping her.

*knock knock* "Come in!" "Oh, Hi, Kamado-kun!"

"How did it go- oh." She suddenly stopped her question. I'm guessing she saw my dull red eyes that were sore from crying.

"I'm guessing it didn't go great. Now, tell me what happened and I'll help you." And I did. I told her everything that happened and everything I felt. Again. I really owe her.

"Ok. I see. So, you saw another boy, which is Inosuke, talk to Zenitsu and laugh really hard. And from the time that you were dating, you haven't seen him laugh like that with you? Is that it?" She analyzed it all that she actually just summarized my entire story. I answer her again and ask.

"Yes. Is it weird?"

"No no no. it was actually really normal to feel like that. It's the same with jealousy but now that you are dating, you think he's cheating on you?" Now that I think about it, it does seem like I just jumped into conclusions. Maybe he wasn't bad after all.

"Yes I did think that he cheated on me but I highly doubt it."

"Kamado-kun, the solution to this is to just talk to him. Maybe he's just awkward because you two just did 'it' and he wants to just get rid of those awkwardness by taking his mind off of it." Hmm... that does seem correct. I mean I was awkward too but not to where I can't even talk to him.

But I understand now. I just have to talk to him, and try to maybe help him get rid of the awkwardness. I'll do it tomorrow! I'll just ask him directly! Shinobu-san really helped me again. I should give her something in return.

"Thank you so much! Shinobu-san! I'll be sure to repay you!" I waved goodbye and now get back to our room.

As I enter, I noticed that he wasn't there. I looked back at our old rooms and he was there. Guess he needs some space. So, I respect his decision and head back to the room alone.

I'm on the bed alone. It's just way too big for me. I miss cuddling with him. I want his hugs and kisses. I miss him so much.

But, what was he doing with Inosuke? They didn't look like they were flirting with each other so what did he need with him? Why was he laughing like that with him? Zenitsu was mine and mine alone. I should be the one making him laugh like that. I should be the one making him happy. I should be the one to comfort him and help him. But why did he turn to Inosuke?

It should be me that was with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 8 is out!!!! So this one was basically all about tanjiro's feelings for zenitsu. There might be some InoZen coming up soooo idk. Might ok might. Im not sure yet. Anyway, Enjoy!! =)))))