Winter Rains{ManxMan}

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Kevin

I managed to calm my thoughts as we exited the gym having showered. I knew my behaviour was more obvious than before. I tried to think of good things, to stop myself but I couldn't stop comparing everything and I didn't want to tell him that. I didn't want him to know what was bothering me, what made me seem so on edge. Not yet.

Making our way back home, I couldn't ignore the curious gazes of others who were starting their day only now as we were leaving. It felt like my skin crawled as I couldn't wait to be away from prying eyes and alone with Jackson. Where I could feel less judged.

"So, wanna have dinner with my mom, Nick and I tonight?" Jackson asked as we rounded a corner. I turned to him curiously and unconsciously folded my arms over my chest.

"What?" My eyes were wide and my brows drawn in. "Why would I be there?"

Jackson shrugged. "She invited Nick and I... I didn't think you'd want to spend tonight alone." His cheeks seemed to turn pink and I looked away from him. "You don't have to... If you don't want to."

"What if she doesn't like me?" I found myself frowning as I looked ahead of us. "What would you even introduce me as? What does she know?" I turned to face him suddenly as I felt panic grip me.

Did he tell her who I was? How he and I met? She probably hated me. Thought of me as some homeless guy taking advantage of her son. I groaned then trying not to fill myself with so much negativity.

"Where is this coming from?" He sounded worried and confused as I sighed.

"Nothing." I mumbled feeling at a lose suddenly. He didn't push, I felt his gaze on me every now and then until we got to his place. His home, who was I to think of it as my own? Then again, it was the only place in the world that I felt warm, safe and taken care of. Was it okay for me to think of it as home?

"So, how'd you do it?" I turned slowly and saw a rather fit tall man, he had bright blue hair, curled softly and the sides shaved off, he had a lip piercing and he smirked at me, showcasing a dimple. He was really attractive.

"Sorry?" I flushed and looked around for Jackson in the locker rooms. He had gone. The man stared me down in contempt.

"Guess he likes 'em easy,huh?" I was pushed against the locker then, my eyes widening in shock, my heart pattered against my ribcage like a scared bird. I swallowed hoarsely. "What did it take to get that piece of sexy man all to yourself?" He hummed placing his hand on the back of the locker boxing me in.

"I-I don-"

"Cut the crap, yeah?" He tilted his face with a scowl. "I doubt that innocent little act you got going is all it took to get your hands on such a well breed man." He huffed and pushed off the lockers. "What? He your sugar daddy? Couldn't make it out on your own and now your mooching off a nice enough well of guy? What's the deal, him?"

"I didn't... I don't..." I stuttered shaking my head. Was that what people thought? Did it seem that obvious to the world how absolutely lost I was without Jackson? Was I really...mooching off of him?

The man stuck his head up and turned from me then and my eyes burned.

I glanced at Jackson's door before entering my room. I sighed leaning against the door. I slid down feeling rather low, defeated in the most pathetic way possible. Was I the one wrong? Was I right to accept his help? To allow myself to be hopeful of a brighter future? Beside him. Would that all I ever be seen as in the end? A gold digging nameless man?