Amnesia

Chapter 21

"Can I ask you something?" I request, sitting up straight.

He opens his eyes and nods, "anything."

"Are you for real?"

He slightly laughs at the forward question.

"What do you think?" He stares intently at me.

Not the answer I was really expecting.

"I don't know. It's hard to believe people now. I keep getting psyched out. I think one person is telling the truth then the next minute they're not."

He ponders the thought, "Well, think of it this way. I haven't bombarded you with information about myself; telling you "It's me, it's me Avy, I'm the one you belong with Blah blah". Have I?" He smirks childishly.

I giggle, "No, You haven't."

"I have only told you the things you want to know. And yes, it is the truth. You can believe what you want to, but that is the truth of what I know." 

"I guess its just hard because I don't remember. I half think everything is a lie because my brain is always doubting itself. Maybe when I regain my memories I'll believe once again. I'll trust people. And...remember you." He looks at his hands and smiles, I continue, "You know you are different from Ahren in that way; you haven't been spending all your time trying to convince me of who you are. You have been letting me make my own way to you."

There's a pleasant silence between us, before he talks again.

"I guess I could have rambled on...I could have told you that you were my ray of sunshine. I could have told you that you were the only one I recognized for a while after my accident; you always used to wear your hair down, so I would know it was you. I could have told you that your laugh was the highlight of my day...And I could have told you...that every day I fell more and more in love with you." 

We gaze into each others eyes as though we are the only two people in the world. My stomach is full of butterflies; a feeling I somewhat recognize.

"Is it hard not being able to see people's faces?" I say gently.

"It's not that I can't see them. I just can't recognize them. It was scary at first. But I learned to live with it and realized if I see people a lot at a regular place, then I can recognize them. But if I see them in a place they aren't usually at, then my mind is confused and can't work out their face. It's weird, I know."

"How did it happen?" 

He gives a single chuckle, "I never thought I'd have to tell this story to you again. I was just in an accident when I was 15. I was hit by a car and when I hit my head on the pavement something was damaged in my brain that helps me recognize faces. There's nothing they can do to help it, but they said it might recover one day."

I smile at him, "Well, I'm glad there is a hope for you." 

"And you too. You will get your memories back." 

The corners of his mouth curl up into a smile, and again he looks at his hands- a shy mannerism he seems to have. 

I suddenly remember Ahren. 

"Oh no, I said I'd meet Ahren to watch a movie."

Disappointment washes over his face.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry. I'll come back. Tomorrow." 

I quickly kiss him on the cheek. Seeing his solemn look turn into a shy smirk makes my heart do back flips. 

We say goodbye and I sneak out of the cellar. Being very careful that I am not spotted. 

I Move quickly to the lounge where I find Ahren relaxing on the sofa.

"You came, eventually." He's smiling, but the impatience shows in his voice.

"Sorry. I fell asleep, lost track of time."

I sit beside him and he puts an arm around me. 

He puts on a movie, but I can't concentrate on it. I can't help but dwell over all the things that Kaius told me. 

I look up at Ahren- engrossed in the movie- Can he really be behind all of this?  

"Movie nights are the best, aren't they." He says.

"Yeah." I reply, not really listening. "Ahren, have you found anything  else out about my parents?" I decide to  play along and act as though I trust him. 

"Nothing yet, but I will tell you as soon as I have." He says simply, returning his attention to the movie.

Our movie eventually finishes and we head to bed.

The next morning I decide to visit Kaius again. I go to the kitchen and make a sandwich to take to him. I don't know if Ahren is having him fed but I want to make sure myself that he is eating.

I stop at the wall passage before I go down. I realize I put my hair up this morning and Kaius said he used to be able to recognize me when I had my hair down. So I pull out the hair bobble and give my hair a shake.

I make my way down the stairs and when I reach the cellar I see him glaring toward me. Only after a few seconds, when he realizes its me, his face softens. 

"You're here." He smiles.

"Of course." I say, handing him the sandwich, "Here, I didn't know if you had anything to eat."

He gorges himself on the sandwich, enjoying every bit of it. 

"Do you have a plan of what you're going to do?" He asks, brushing off crumbs from himself.

"I don't really know to be honest. I want to confront him. But I don't really have a reason to do that until I get my memory back and have proof that he is really such a terrible person."

Kaius looks at me with slight disbelief, "Do you not believe me?"

"Of course I believe you. Its just...you have no idea how hard it is to accept it. Because for a while, he was the only one I trusted. And in my head...I don't know who you are..." I look at him with sad eyes.

"But you do- Deep down you do. Why else would you be here right now?"

"You are right, I do recognize you and I feel a strong desire to be with you. But that doesn't change that I can't remember you; And that I can't remember what he did to me."

He contemplates it for a moment, then says quietly, "But what if you don't remember? What if you never remember me? Would you stay with him?"